Star Plus Serials:
Episode 1:
larka aur larki pas se guzarte hain mgr notice nai kia..
Episode 50:
larka aur larki apas main takrate hain..
Episode 100:
larke aur larki ki frndshp ho jati hai..
Episode 200:
dono ko apas main pyar ho jata hai..
Episode 400:
larki married nikali...
Episode 500:
larke ki shadi ho chuki hai..
Episode 600:
larki ka husband mar jata hai..
Episode 700:
purana pyar phir se jagta hai..
Episode 800:
larki larke ki wife ko maarne ki try karti hai..
Episode 999:
Drama daikhne wala hi mar gya hai..
Hahahahaha...:-P:-

I kept ignoring her...
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she smiled,
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but I kept quiet.
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she began to speak,
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but I didn't listen.....
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I was not interested at that time
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and
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when she began to leave,
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I knew I needed her.
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I started running behind her,
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requesting..........
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"MA'AM
attendance"
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mam plz...plzz mam..

Pappu juice wale se:-
Jaldi se juice de ladai hone wali hai..
.
.
.
ek glass pine ke baad..
ek glass aur de ladai hone wali hai..
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Woh bhi pene ke baad...
ek glass aur de jaldi ladai hone wali hai..
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Juice wala:- kab hogi ladai???
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Pappu:- Jab tu paise mangegaa!
:-D :-D

Ek Budhe Aadmi Ne Socha Ki Meri Biwi Ko Shayad Sun Na Kam Ho Gaya Hai
So Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Din Uske Piche Gaya Aur Bola
Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”
Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Thoda Sa Aur Aage Gaya Aur Fir Bola
Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”
Is Bar Bhi Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Bilkul Uske Kareeb Chala Gaya Aur Bola
Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”
Budhi Chillate Hue: “Pagal Buddhe, Ye Teesri Baar Haan Bol Rahi Hu“ :-D

Shaadi mein santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...kisi ne pucha, kab tak khaoge ?
Sardar - Mai toh khud pareshan hoon .....par card me likha hai,
"Dinner 7-12pm" :-D

Ek murga maalik ko window se baitha dekh raha tha...
Maalik bahut bimaar tha..
Maalik ki Wife uske bagal mein baithi aur kaha
"Aapko bahut tez bukhaar hai, main aapke liye chicken soup lati hoon"
Murge ke tote udd gye..
"Ghabra kar bola - behanji...ek baar crocin de karr bhi dekh lo"

Bahut afsos ho raha uai,
Unn ladke ladkion pe jo,
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Kambal or rajai mein chipkar,
Call, Message kia karte the,
Ab kro message, Garmi is back :-P :-P

In an Aeroplane, after 4-5 drinks- . . .
British- I will sleep now. ..
American- I want to work on internet

German- I will watch movies now. ..
Chinese- I will listen to music now. . . . .
INDIAN- Aaj tera bhai Plane chalayega..! :-D :-D

For those girls who say that-
"mere piche to bhot se ladke pade
hai"
.
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They always should remember that-
"Low price always attract customers :-D :-D

Biwi ne Husband ko call
kiya:- Kaha ho tum ??
Husband:- Tumhe
wo Jwellery shop yaad hai
jahan tume ek diamond ka
set pasand aaya tha aur tab mere pass itne
paise
nahi the ki main wo tumhe
leke de sakun..
.
.
Wife :- Haan yaad hai... Husband:- Phir
maine
tumse
kaha tha ki ek din main
tumhein wo
zaroor leke dunga valentine day par B|
.
.
Wife bahut khush hote hue: Haan Haan ji,
mujhe
achche
se yaad hai.. :-D
.
.
.
. . Husband:- Main uski baju
wali
shop me baal katwa raha hu
thoda late aunga.. :-D :-D :-D

Girl: "Ye Jo Samne Ladka Betha Hai, iska Naam Kya Hai?"
.
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Waiter: "Yeh to " piyush "Hai."
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Girl: "Yeh Mujhe 1 Ghante Se Pareshan Kar Raha Hain."
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Waiter: "Magar Wo To Apki Taraf Dekh Bhi Nahi Raha Hai."
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Girl: "Yahi To Pareshanii Hai."
Moral: Duniya Shareefon Ko Jeenay Nahi Deti..

In Africa, A Black Boy To His Black
Girl-friend,
in a Dark Night Near Sea Asked in
very
Romantic Mood..
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Darling
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Where Are You.. ??

SCHOOL- Apni to paatshala masti ki
pathshala
.
TUTION- Idhar chala mai udhar
chala
.
MATHS- Ajeeb dastan hai yeh
.
SCIENCE- Aa khusi se khudkushi
karle
.
GEOGRAPHY- Musafir hoon main
yaaro
.
ECONOMICS-Kyu paisa paisa karti
hai,paise pe kyu tu marti hai
.
EXAM- Zehrelein raatey ninde udd
jati hai
.
RESULT- Jiya dharak dharak
.
PASS- Aaj mai upar asman niche
.
FAIL- Jag suna suna lage

Ek bar santa station pr train ka wait kr rha tha. Tvi ek ladka usse time
puchta h.
Ladka-- uncle tim kya h rha.h?
Santa-- sorryy
Ladka-- uncl time?
Santa-- sorry Ladka-- pr ku aap ni bta rhe h?
Santa-- isliye ki agr mai time bta diya to tm mjhse mra naam puchoge.
Fir bat badegi. Hm dono dost ban jaynge. Fir hm frank ho jayge. Fir kya
pata hm dono ek hi station pr jaye. Wha mri beti mjhe reciev krne
ayegi. Tm mri beti se dosti kr loge jo bahuut sundr h. Fir pyar kr loge. Fir
mjhe shadi krne k liye dabao daloge. Aur mai ye nhi chahta ki tm mre damad bano kuki tm bahut laparwah ho jiske hath me ek time btane
wali ghadi nhi h.
Wo mra damad nhi ban sakta.
.
.
Ladka sock hokr behosh ho jata h.

Girls On Facebook - Fashion, Friends, Boys &
Attitude.
Girls in Real Life - Mummy aaj
Sunday hai aaj main pochha nahi lagaungi.
-
Guys On Facebook - Girls , Beer & Ego.
Guys in Real Life - Mummy is Pajama ka nada
dhila ho gaya , naya laga do :-D :-D

2 ladke 2 ladkiyon ka
roz peecha kr rhe
the.
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Thode dino k baad
dono ladkiyon ne
tang aakar un dono
ko rakhi bandh di.
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Tab ladko ne ek
dusre se kaha - chal
ab tu meri behan se
shadi karle aur main
teri behan se kar
leta hu... :-P :-P

एक लड़का एक लड़की से बहुत प्यार
करता था,लेकिन डर की वजह से कुछ कह
नहीं पाता था.
एक दिन उसने निश्चय किया की उस
लड़की को मैसेज कर'I Love You'कहेगा.
उसने रात में लड़की के नंबर पर'I Love
You'लिख कर मैसेज सेंड किया और
सो गया.
कुछ देर बाद उसके मोबाईल पर मैसेज टोन
बजा.
लेकिन उसने निश्चय किया कि वह मैसेज
सुबह उठ कर नहा कर मंदिर होकर आएगा उसके बाद ही पढ़ेगा.
रात भर वह उस लड़की के सपने देखता रहा.
सुबह जल्दी उठ कर नहाया और मंदिर गया.
मंदिर से लौटकर उसने मोबाईल उठाया और मैसेज पढ़ा.
मैसेज में लिखा था :
A/C balance is insufficient.
Main bal is Rs. 0.08.
Msg can not be send. :-P :-P :-D

Boy :"Jaan,tumhara
naam apne haath pe
likhu ya dil pe ?
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Girl :"Idhar udhar kyo
likhtey ho
.
.
.
Agar sacha pyar krte
ho to apni
property k papers par
likh do
.
.
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Boy :"OoO teri
.
.
Yaar ye ladkiyan kitne
chalak hogyi hai star
plus dekh ke..... :-P :-D

Patni ne pati ko
Surprise krne k lie
kitchtn mein jakr new SIM card se call ki
.
.
.
Or boli,,
Hllo darling...
Pati: baad mein
call kro jaan
abhi wo kutti kamini kitchen mein hain.. :-P :-D

Relative: Kya kar rahe ho aajkal?
Me: Jee, social networking.
Relative: Mera matlab jeene ke liye kya karte ho?
Me: Jee, Saans leta hoon. :-P

Ye Hitler Ke Zamane Ki Baat Hai..
.
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Hitler Stage Pe Chadh Ke Speach De Raha
Tha..
.
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Hitler: “Meri Dictionary Mein Impossible Naam
Ka
Word Nahi Hai”
.
.
.
Piche Se Bheed Mein Santa ke dada Nikla Aur
Bola..
.
.
Santa ke dada : “To saale Dekh Ke Leni
Chahiye Thi
Na“ .

Timeline:
Girl1: YoYo! HoWzzz mAh DP..?
Girl2: Owwesm DP BaBy..
Chat:
Girl2: Di Ye Red Waali Lipstick Konsi Brand Ki Liyi Hai Nayi Aayi Kya..?
Girl1: Brand Toh Pata Nahi Hai,But Priya Ki Shaadi Me Se Uthake Leyi Aayi...!!

FOR ALL MY DEAR MARRIED FRIENDS.:
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.
.
.
Love is holding hands in the street,
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
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Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant,
Marriage is a take home packet.
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Love is watching movie on a sofa,
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
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Love is talking about having children, Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
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Love is going to bed early,
Marriage is going to sleep early.
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Love is losing your appetite,
Marriage is losing your figure.
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TV has no place in love,
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
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Love is 1 drink and 2 straws,
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had !".
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Conclusion :
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"Love is blind,
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Marriage is an eye opener :-D :-D

एक एक्स्ट्रा ओडनरी आदमी था..... (जैसा की हर मोहल्ले में एक होता है )
वो रोज घर से बाहर निकल कर बाहर खेल रहे बच्चों से सवाल पूछा करता था---
.
आदमी -एफिल टावर कहाँ है पता है ??
.
बच्चे ---नहीं अंकल....
.
आदमी - हा हा हा हा जब देखो यहीं पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर से बाहर निकलो तो पता चले.....
.
दुसरे दिन फिर से...
.
आदमी - अच्छा ये बताओ क़ुतुब मीनार कहाँ है....
.
बच्चे - नहीं पता अंकल...
.
आदमी ---हा हा हा हा जब देखो यहीं पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर से बाहर निकलो तो पता चले.....
.
रोज रोज के उसके ऐसे सवालों से बच्चे बड़ा जलील महसूस करते थे और तंग आ गए...
बच्चों ने उसे सबक सिखाने की सोची...
.
अगले दिन जब वो आदमी घर से निकला तो इससे पहले वो बच्चों से सवाल पूछता ,
बच्चों ने उससे सवाल पूछा ---- अंकल आपको पता है कि ये ""रामलाल"" कौन है...
.
आदमी--- नहीं मुझे नहीं पता......
.
बच्चे ------ जब देखो बाहर पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर पर भी रहो तो पता पड़े.. :-D :-D

बताओ दिग्विजय सिंह तक की गर्ल फ्रेंड है,
अब समय आ गया है की हम सबको चुल्लू भर पानी में डूब मरना चाहिए … :-D :-D

Ex-Gf ki shadi ka card mila,
Thodi takleef to hui,
.
Fir socha jayenge zaroor,
.
Mohabbat apni jagah hai,
.
.
.
Aur biryaani apni jaga 8-) :-D

Movies of school life :
Classes- Bardasht.
Attendance- Hera pheri.
Class room- No entry.
Teacher- Janidushman.
Exam- Evil dead.
Examiner- Don.
Frnd during paper- Hum aapke hai kaun?
Viva- Encounter.
Marking- Andha kanoon.
Exam time- Qayamat.
Cheating- Lage raho munna bhai.
Question paper- Ek paheli.
Answer paper- Kora kagaj.
Result- Sadma.
pass- Chamatkar.
Fail- Devdas.
Future- Na tum jano na hum. :-P :-P

Husband.. jab mai tumhe marta hu tab tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho.... :o
.
Wife..toilet saaf karke :-D
.
Husband..haste hue : pagal aurat vo kaise? :-D
Wife..toilet aapke toothbrush se saaf karti hu. o.O

So much pain and agony in this World. Crimes,
Corruption, Kidnaps, MH370, Modi, Rahul, Kejri
etc.
And just when you think world has suffered
enough,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
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.
.
Himesh Reshammiya releases his Movie. :-D :-D :-D

Height Of Nonsense.
Girl : Mera Facebook Pe
Account Ban Sakta Hai Kya ???
Boy : Haa Yaar Ban Sakta Hai.
Tumhara Kya Kisi Ka Bhi Ban Sakta
Hai.
Girl : To Main Apne, Account Me
Paisa Jama Kara Sakti Hu.
[Guy Give A Surprise Look]
Girl : Kya Hua..???
Lagta Hai Tumko Bhi Zyada,
Knowledge Nahi Hai Is Baare Me.

2 Cockroach ICU Me Ek Dusre Ke
Bagal Me Admit Thay..
1st: Kisne Maara, Hit Ya Slipper.?
.
2nd: Arre Kisi Ne Nahi Yaar,
Ye Ladkiyan Mujhe Dekh Ke Itna
Chillati Hai Ki..
Attack Aa Gaya...! :-D :-P

Smart answer by a female...
.
On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him...
.
'Nice perfume.....which one is it?...i want to gift it to my wife.. .!!' :-)
.
Lady
'Don't give her....some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her...!' :-P
.

Geography teacher: agar koi chota planet prithvi se takraye to kya hoga?
Student: 'Tadang' jaisa awaaj aayega
Teacher gusse se: Kyu??
Student: yeh duniya... Yeh duniya pital di...

Do Gaanv Ke Ladke Jinhone Naya Naya Laptop Purchase Kiya Thha, Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe.
Golu: “Tuje Apna Laptop Bada Karwana Hai Kya?”
Pappu: “Hana Yaar, Par Kaise?”
Golu : “Ek Kaam Kar, Iss Mein Se Window Nikalwa Ke Darwaja Fit Karwa Le" :-D :-D

Santa- Yaar Shaadi K Jode Kon Banata hai?
Banta-Aasmaan me Bhagwan Banata hai.
Santa- O Tere Ki..
Mai To Darzi ko De Aaya..." :-P

Wife:"Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .
Husband:"Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,
Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .
Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..
fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao... :-P
.
Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .
Husbnd:"Kya hua.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wife: "maa bahen ek hogayi..... BC Daal hi gir gai . :-D :-D

Teacher: today we r going to write 10 lines on
"MY BEST FRIEND" topic..
After few minutes
A boy stands up:- mam 'CHUTIYE' ko English me kya bolte hain.?

Wife To Husband
.
.
Wife : Mein Tangg Aa Gayi Hu
Roz Ki Kit Kit Se
Mujhe Talaaq Chahiye
.
.
Husband : Ye Lo Choclate Khaao.
.
.
.
Wife. ( Romantically ) Mana Rahe Ho
Mujhe..
.
.
.
.
Husband : Nahi Re Pagli
.
Maa Kehti Hai Achchha Kaam Karne
Se
Pehle
Meetha Khaana Chahiye. .!
.
.
Husband Rocked,Wife Shocked

Wife : "why r u home so early?"
Hubby :
"My boss said go to hell!" :-P:-P

बॉस अपनी सेक्रेटरी से – मैं और तुम एक हफ्ते के लिए लन्दन जा रहे है ... एन्जॉय करेंगे ....(आगे की सारी बातें फोन पर )
सेक्रेटरी अपने पति से – आफिस के काम से मुझे बॉस
के साथ एक हफ्ते के लिए लन्दन जाना है .....
.
पति अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड से – बीबी एक हफ्ते के लिए
बाहर जा रही है ...तुम घर आ जाना एन्जॉय करेंगे ....
.
गर्लफ्रेंड जो की टीचर है स्टूडेंट से – बच्चों आज से एक हफ्ते की छुट्टी ....
मैं कहीं बाहर जा रही हूँ .....
.
स्टूडेंट अपने पिता से जो की बॉस है – पापा मेरी एक
हफ्ते की छुट्टी है मैं घर आ रहा हूँ.......
.
पिता सेक्रेटरी से – मेरा बेटा आ रहा है एक हफ्ते के लिए .... टूर कैंसल .....
.
सेक्रेटरी अपने पति से – टूर कैंसल ....
.
पति अपनी टीचर गर्लफ्रेड से –
बीबी नही जा रही है ... प्रोग्राम कैंसल ......
.
टीचर स्टूडेंट से – छुट्टी कैंसल.....
.
स्टूडेंट अपने पिता से जो कि बॉस है – पापा टीचर ने छुट्टी कैंसल कर दी है ...
मैं नही आऊंगा .....
.
बॉस सेक्रेटरी से - मेरा बेटा नही आ रहा है .... फिर से लन्दन ....
एन्जॉय करेंगे ......
.
.
.
.
बाकी आप लोग समझदार हैं ......
फिर वहीं से शुरू....

कोई चायनीज लड़की अगर तुम्हारा मन चुरा कर ले जाये...
तो उसे क्या कहेंगे..???
.
.
"मन्चुरियन" :-P

संता को एक लावारिस बंदर मिला।
वह उसे पुलिस स्टेशन ले गया।
इंस्पेक्टर ने कहा: इसे चिड़ियाघर ले जाओ।
संता दूसरे दिन बंदर के साथ बस स्टॉप पर खड़ा था।
इंस्पेक्टर ने देखा तो पूछा: इसे चिड़ियाघर लेकर नहीं गए?
संता: कल ले गया था। बहुत घूमे और बड़ा मजा भी आया! आज कुतुब मीनार जा रहे हैं।

is saal election me dhamaal ho gaya....
1. N D Tiwari ko beta mil gaya
2. Modi ko biwi mil gayi
3. Aur Digii ko dono... Beti jaisi biwi mil gayi.
Yeh election thaa yaa Kumbh ka Mela !!!!!

When girls upload her pic, the next
3 years she be busy in replying .
.
.
.
.
thankeww, thanks sweetie, thanks cutie, mutie,
'jk wall puttie'
.
.
.
-
when boy upload his pic... he be busy in rplyng:
.
.
.
.
kutte terse to accha hi lg rha hu>_< , Kamine terse
bhi , Chup reh chutiye , Saale tu toh bol hi mat..

Ek Aadmi Ka Gala Beth Gaya, Bahut Koshish Ki Par Aaram Nahi Mila.
Raat Ke Do Baje Tang Aakar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Kuch Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Hai Ke Kya Karoon?”
Biwi Boli: “Ismein Sharmaane Ki Kya Baat Hai Samne Hi Doctor Ka Ghar Hai, Chale Jaao”
Pati: “Raat Ke Do Baje Kisi Ke Ghar Jaate Acha Nahi Lagta”
Patni: “Doctor Ka Farz Hota Hai Mareej Ko Dekhna Aur Theek Karna, Rat Ya Din Ka Koi Matlab Nahi Hota Ismein”
Pati Ne Is Baat Ko Socha Aur Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Samne Wale Apartment Mein Pahunch Ke Dawaja Khat-Khataya,
Ander Se Doctor Ki Biwi Ne Pucha: “Kaun Hai?”
Pati (Gala Bethi Hui Awaaz Mein): “Main Hoon Aapka Padosi, Doctor Sahab Hai?”
Ander Se Biwi Ki Hot Awaaz Aayi: “Nahi Hai, Aa Jaao“ :-D :-D

khuda kare apni dosti itni gahri ho
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khuda kare apni dosti itni gahri ho
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beech sarak pe tu pite
or
galti meri ho....

A Heart Touching Fight-
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GIRL- "I want to end our Relationship.
I m going to return everything u gave
me"
BOY- "Ok... then
Let's Start wid Hugs & Kisses...
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moral:- boyz ko bas chipakne ka bahana chahaiye

Aunty said to my Mom -
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" Meri ladki bta rhi thi k tmhara ladka
raat 2-3 bje tk facebook use karta hai
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my mom simply said,
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" Aapki ladki ko kaise pta ?
Raat 2 bje use sapne aate hai " !! :-P :-D

Vacation Special :
Wife ne apni Maa ko fon kiya: Mammi mera un se jhagda ho gya hain, main 3-4 mahino k liye ghar aa rahi hu....
Ab DIL tham lo .....
Maa boli: Jhagda us kambakhat ne kiya he toh saza bhi usey he milni chahiye, Tu wahin ruk main 5-6 mahine k liye aa rahi hoon.....

Ek 14 saal k ladke ko,
10 saal ki khubsurat ladki ki Photo
raste me mili,
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Or us ladke ko ladki se pyar ho gya..
Uska us ladki ke liye pyar Dhire dhire
badhane lga..
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Wo us ladki se bahut pyar krne lga..
Lekin wo ladka us ladki ko, Kabhi nhi
paa saka..
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Kuch saalo baad..
Uski wife ne wo photo dekha or
Puchha"tumhe ye photo
kahase mila?
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"Ladke ne puchha"kyu?
"Ladki ne kaha:
"Mera photo kho gya tha, Jb me 10
saal ki thi
". SACHA PYAR Kbhi v FAIL NAI HOTA :-P

She: Liver kharab hai, maine bhagwaan
se tumhare acche hone ki wish ki.
He:
Raham kar kamini aur kitna whiskey?
She: Tu mar hi jaa saale.!! :-P

Status uploaded by a Heart
broken
boy ;-(
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dabbay mai dabba dabbay
main
cake...
Ek ladki add huwi thi wo bhi
fake. :-(

TV Anchor interviewing a Farmer:
Q: Aap Bakre ko kya khilate ho?
Farmer : Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko...
Farmer : Ghaas...
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Farmer : Use bhi Ghaas hi khilata hu.....
Anchor: Inhain baandhte kidher ho?
Farmer : Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko.....
Farmer : Bahar ke kamre mein
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Farmer : Use bhi bahar ke kamre mein......
Anchor: Aur nehlate kaise ho?
Farmer : Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Kale ko......
Farmer : Pani se
Anchor: Aur Safaid ko?
Farmer : Use bhi pani se.....
Anchor Ghusse se:
Kamine, jab dono ke saath sub-kuchh ek jaisa karta hai toh mujhse baar baar kyu puchhta hai, "Kala ya Safaid?"
Farmer : Kyu ke Safaid bakra mera hai.......
Anchor: Aur kala?
Farmer : Woh bhi mera hi hai.......!

His songs for her
1st date -Hey sexy lady
Romance - Jeene laga hoon
Wedding - Chandan sa badan
10 yrs later - Kuch na kaho, kuch bhi na kaho :-D

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on
it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on ..!! :-P

Girls On Facebook - Fashion, Friends, Boys &
Attitude.
Girls in Real Life - Mummy aaj
Sunday hai aaj main pochha nahi lagaungi. :v
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Guys On Facebook - Girls , Beer & Ego.
Guys in Real Life - Mummy is Pajama ka nada
dhila ho gaya , naya laga do. :-P

Girlfriend : kya kar sakte ho? mere liye ?
Boyfriend: Chand tare tod loon, mountain
se kood jaun, tufaan ka saamna
kar loon.
Girlfriend : awwwwwwww come to me. i'm alone.
Boyfriend : but its raining yarr ! :-D

Breaking News:
Shatrugan Sinha LokSabha ke naye Speaker banne waale hai.
Simple Logic hai Bhaiya...
Unse acha "Khamosh" kaun bol sakta hai.

Girls Status : Playing with 'kuchi puchi' (my dog)
345 Likes
Boy 1 : Kaash hum bhi kutte hotey...
Boy 2 : Bow bow bowwww bowww
Boy 3 : Akhir kutte bhi toh insaan hotey hain...
Boy 4 : I is also lub dog so much. my frnds say i
is a kuta.
...
Boys Status : Playing with crocodiles
0 Likes
Boy 1 : Rahega toh tu kutta hi
Boy 2 : bachon vale kam hi kariyo :-D :-D

5 things that make happy
-Buy 1 get 1 free
-Flat 50% off
-Tatkal Ticket confirmation
-Winning Cricket match
-Wife is not at home

Life cycle of clothes in
India :
Party wear
Casual wear
Gym wear
Night wear
Holi wear
Dusting cloth
Pochha
R. I. P :-D :-D

Kya aapki life bahut boring
hai?aap boriyat feel kar rahe hai????
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Agar haan
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Toh type kijiye
I love (aapke lover ka
name) and send it to
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ur dad's number
Kasam se life mein hungama
mach jaega. :-P

Love Marrige:
Raat K Waqt
Shohar:
Paani Pilao
Biwi Paani Lenay Gayi,
Shohar Ko Neend Aa Gayi,
Biwi Saari Raat Paani Ka Glass Pakde Khadi Rahi,
Subah Shohar Ki Aankh Khuli To Dekh Kar Bohat Khush Huva Aur Bola!
Maango Kya Maangti Ho?
Biwi:
Kamine Talaaq De. :-D

*woke up* *looking awkwardly at everyone *
Mom- uth gya?
Me- haanji
Mom- sharam nahi aati itni late uthata hai, itna mota ho gaya ho hai, tere dost tujhe chidhate nhi hai kya?
*after taking bath*
Mom- beta breakfast karlena, lo parantha.
Me- *eats 1, eats 2, eats 3*
Mom- aajkal tu khana theek se nahi khata, dubla ho jayega toh log kya kahenge.

good joke

एक कर्नल साहब शादी के बाद पत्नी तो घर लाये
तो दरवाज़े पर एक कुत्ता भोंका...
कर्नल :- भोंकना बंद कर......1
कुत्ता :- भौं भौं
कर्नल :- भोकना बंद कर......2
कुत्ता :- भौं भौं
कर्नल :- भोकना बंद कर......3
कुत्ता :- भौं भौं
कर्नल :- ठायँ ठायँ (गोली मार दी कुत्ते को...)
पत्नी :- ये आपने क्या किया एक बेजुबान जानवर को मार दिया...
मुझे पता होता के आप इतने ज़ालिम है..तो...आप से शादी नहीं करती...
कर्नल :- भोंकना बंद कर......1
..
कसम से उसके बाद उन दोनों की कभी लड़ाई नहीं हुई... :-D

bollywood good joke

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare!
Baccha: Oye Gubbancho!:*
Gubbarewala: Abuse mat kar! >:/
Baccha: Ab use na karu toh kab use karu? :-D
Gubbarewala: Yaar tujhe Mukka maar dunga! Ja yahaan se! ~:-)
Baccha: Yaar mere nose pe maarna please! Fir mein dance karunga! :-D
Gubbarewala: Wo kyu? :-(
Baccha: Coz, Naak-Mukka ,Naak -Mukka , Naak-Mukka, Naak-Mukka. :-D
Gubbarewala: Aise dardnaak jokes na maara kar! Dard hota hai dil ko mere! :|
Baccha: "Dard dilo ke kamm ho jaate, mein aur tum gar Hum ho jaate" :-*
Gubbarewala: Hmmm!:| Mein seedha hu saale Jalebi bai ke bhutiye bacche!!:| Ab bhaag yahan se warna teri chaddi bina logon ke saamne 'XPOSE' kar dunga tujhe! :|

किसी ने मेरे से पूछा -
आप शादी से पहले क्या करते थे।??
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मैंने कहा-
जो मेरा दिल करता था। :-D

ऐटिट्यूड की हाइट तो देखें...
एक आदमी कॉकरोच को मार रहा था।
मरने से पहले कॉकरोच ने आदमी से आखिरी बार बोला...
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'मार दे मुझे..!
डरपोक कहीं के.!
तू मुझसे इसलिए चिढ़ता है...
क्योंकि तेरी बीवी मुझसे डरती है
और तुझसे नहीं...!!!' :-P :-D

good joke

एक लड़का स्किन प्राब्लम से दुखी होकर डॉक्टर के पास पहुंचता है.....
डॉक्टर: तुम कौन-सा साबुन इस्तेमाल करते हो?
मरीज: बजरंग का साबुन।
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डॉक्टर: पेस्ट?
मरीज: बजरंग का पेस्ट?
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डॉक्टर: शैम्पू?
मरीज: बजरंग का शैम्पू।
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डॉक्टर: अरे यार आखिर... ये बजरंग कहां की कंपनी है?
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मरीज: बजरंग मेरा रूम पार्टनर है। :-D :-D

लडकियों की दो समस्याएं :
1. कैसे कुत्ते की तरह देख रहा है!
2. कुत्ता देख भी नहीं रहा है!
अब "कुत्ता" क्या करे! :-D

Hum pani kyn pite hain .
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. Kyun ki hm pani kha ni skte .. :v

All indian problem is same bhai
GF nahi mil rahi, jeb mein
paise nahi hai, mobile
purana ho gaya. :-D :-D

Ek Diwaar par
likha huya tha,
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"Life Is Very Beautiful".
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Kisi ne uske niche
. ek line aur add
Kar di:
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"Terms&
Conditions Of Your Wife
Apply"....!!!! :-D :-P

आज का ज्ञान :
अगर आपकी मैग्नेटिक पर्सनैलिटी के बावजूद लड़की आपकी तरफ आकर्षित नहीं हो रही है...
इसका मतलब लड़की में आयरन की कमी है :-D

A Girl's character represents the
character of her family.
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Where as
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A Boy's character represents his
friends'.

Beta: papa hamare kitne rishtedar hai mein toh sabko janta b nahi
papa.
koi baat nahi bas tera result Aane de Jupiter wala chacha aur mercury wali mausi tak tujhe call karegi :-P

Jivan Me 3 Baat Kisi Ko
Nahi Batani.. ...
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1)
2)
3)
Nahi Batani Matlab Nahi Batani...
Kisi Ko Bhi Nahi :-P :-P :-D :-D