Star Plus Serials:
Episode 1:
larka aur larki pas se guzarte hain mgr notice nai kia..
Episode 50:
larka aur larki apas main takrate hain..
Episode 100:
larke aur larki ki frndshp ho jati hai..
Episode 200:
dono ko apas main pyar ho jata hai..
Episode 400:
larki married nikali...
Episode 500:
larke ki shadi ho chuki hai..
Episode 600:
larki ka husband mar jata hai..
Episode 700:
purana pyar phir se jagta hai..
Episode 800:
larki larke ki wife ko maarne ki try karti hai..
Episode 999:
Drama daikhne wala hi mar gya hai..
Hahahahaha...:-P:-

I kept ignoring her...
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she smiled,
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but I kept quiet.
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she began to speak,
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but I didn't listen.....
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I was not interested at that time
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and
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when she began to leave,
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I knew I needed her.
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I started running behind her,
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requesting..........
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"MA'AM
attendance"
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mam plz...plzz mam..

Pappu juice wale se:-
Jaldi se juice de ladai hone wali hai..
.
.
.
ek glass pine ke baad..
ek glass aur de ladai hone wali hai..
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Woh bhi pene ke baad...
ek glass aur de jaldi ladai hone wali hai..
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Juice wala:- kab hogi ladai???
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Pappu:- Jab tu paise mangegaa!
:-D :-D

Ek Budhe Aadmi Ne Socha Ki Meri Biwi Ko Shayad Sun Na Kam Ho Gaya Hai
So Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Din Uske Piche Gaya Aur Bola
Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”
Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Thoda Sa Aur Aage Gaya Aur Fir Bola
Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”
Is Bar Bhi Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Bilkul Uske Kareeb Chala Gaya Aur Bola
Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?”
Budhi Chillate Hue: “Pagal Buddhe, Ye Teesri Baar Haan Bol Rahi Hu“ :-D

Shaadi mein santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...kisi ne pucha, kab tak khaoge ?
Sardar - Mai toh khud pareshan hoon .....par card me likha hai,
"Dinner 7-12pm" :-D

Ek murga maalik ko window se baitha dekh raha tha...
Maalik bahut bimaar tha..
Maalik ki Wife uske bagal mein baithi aur kaha
"Aapko bahut tez bukhaar hai, main aapke liye chicken soup lati hoon"
Murge ke tote udd gye..
"Ghabra kar bola - behanji...ek baar crocin de karr bhi dekh lo"

Bahut afsos ho raha uai,
Unn ladke ladkion pe jo,
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Kambal or rajai mein chipkar,
Call, Message kia karte the,
Ab kro message, Garmi is back :-P :-P

In an Aeroplane, after 4-5 drinks- . . .
British- I will sleep now. ..
American- I want to work on internet

German- I will watch movies now. ..
Chinese- I will listen to music now. . . . .
INDIAN- Aaj tera bhai Plane chalayega..! :-D :-D

For those girls who say that-
"mere piche to bhot se ladke pade
hai"
.
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They always should remember that-
"Low price always attract customers :-D :-D

Biwi ne Husband ko call
kiya:- Kaha ho tum ??
Husband:- Tumhe
wo Jwellery shop yaad hai
jahan tume ek diamond ka
set pasand aaya tha aur tab mere pass itne
paise
nahi the ki main wo tumhe
leke de sakun..
.
.
Wife :- Haan yaad hai... Husband:- Phir
maine
tumse
kaha tha ki ek din main
tumhein wo
zaroor leke dunga valentine day par B|
.
.
Wife bahut khush hote hue: Haan Haan ji,
mujhe
achche
se yaad hai.. :-D
.
.
.
. . Husband:- Main uski baju
wali
shop me baal katwa raha hu
thoda late aunga.. :-D :-D :-D

Girl: "Ye Jo Samne Ladka Betha Hai, iska Naam Kya Hai?"
.
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Waiter: "Yeh to " piyush "Hai."
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Girl: "Yeh Mujhe 1 Ghante Se Pareshan Kar Raha Hain."
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Waiter: "Magar Wo To Apki Taraf Dekh Bhi Nahi Raha Hai."
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Girl: "Yahi To Pareshanii Hai."
Moral: Duniya Shareefon Ko Jeenay Nahi Deti..

In Africa, A Black Boy To His Black
Girl-friend,
in a Dark Night Near Sea Asked in
very
Romantic Mood..
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Darling
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Where Are You.. ??

SCHOOL- Apni to paatshala masti ki
pathshala
.
TUTION- Idhar chala mai udhar
chala
.
MATHS- Ajeeb dastan hai yeh
.
SCIENCE- Aa khusi se khudkushi
karle
.
GEOGRAPHY- Musafir hoon main
yaaro
.
ECONOMICS-Kyu paisa paisa karti
hai,paise pe kyu tu marti hai
.
EXAM- Zehrelein raatey ninde udd
jati hai
.
RESULT- Jiya dharak dharak
.
PASS- Aaj mai upar asman niche
.
FAIL- Jag suna suna lage

Ek bar santa station pr train ka wait kr rha tha. Tvi ek ladka usse time
puchta h.
Ladka-- uncle tim kya h rha.h?
Santa-- sorryy
Ladka-- uncl time?
Santa-- sorry Ladka-- pr ku aap ni bta rhe h?
Santa-- isliye ki agr mai time bta diya to tm mjhse mra naam puchoge.
Fir bat badegi. Hm dono dost ban jaynge. Fir hm frank ho jayge. Fir kya
pata hm dono ek hi station pr jaye. Wha mri beti mjhe reciev krne
ayegi. Tm mri beti se dosti kr loge jo bahuut sundr h. Fir pyar kr loge. Fir
mjhe shadi krne k liye dabao daloge. Aur mai ye nhi chahta ki tm mre damad bano kuki tm bahut laparwah ho jiske hath me ek time btane
wali ghadi nhi h.
Wo mra damad nhi ban sakta.
.
.
Ladka sock hokr behosh ho jata h.

Girls On Facebook - Fashion, Friends, Boys &
Attitude.
Girls in Real Life - Mummy aaj
Sunday hai aaj main pochha nahi lagaungi.
-
Guys On Facebook - Girls , Beer & Ego.
Guys in Real Life - Mummy is Pajama ka nada
dhila ho gaya , naya laga do :-D :-D

2 ladke 2 ladkiyon ka
roz peecha kr rhe
the.
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Thode dino k baad
dono ladkiyon ne
tang aakar un dono
ko rakhi bandh di.
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Tab ladko ne ek
dusre se kaha - chal
ab tu meri behan se
shadi karle aur main
teri behan se kar
leta hu... :-P :-P

एक लड़का एक लड़की से बहुत प्यार
करता था,लेकिन डर की वजह से कुछ कह
नहीं पाता था.
एक दिन उसने निश्चय किया की उस
लड़की को मैसेज कर'I Love You'कहेगा.
उसने रात में लड़की के नंबर पर'I Love
You'लिख कर मैसेज सेंड किया और
सो गया.
कुछ देर बाद उसके मोबाईल पर मैसेज टोन
बजा.
लेकिन उसने निश्चय किया कि वह मैसेज
सुबह उठ कर नहा कर मंदिर होकर आएगा उसके बाद ही पढ़ेगा.
रात भर वह उस लड़की के सपने देखता रहा.
सुबह जल्दी उठ कर नहाया और मंदिर गया.
मंदिर से लौटकर उसने मोबाईल उठाया और मैसेज पढ़ा.
मैसेज में लिखा था :
A/C balance is insufficient.
Main bal is Rs. 0.08.
Msg can not be send. :-P :-P :-D

Boy :"Jaan,tumhara
naam apne haath pe
likhu ya dil pe ?
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Girl :"Idhar udhar kyo
likhtey ho
.
.
.
Agar sacha pyar krte
ho to apni
property k papers par
likh do
.
.
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Boy :"OoO teri
.
.
Yaar ye ladkiyan kitne
chalak hogyi hai star
plus dekh ke..... :-P :-D

Patni ne pati ko
Surprise krne k lie
kitchtn mein jakr new SIM card se call ki
.
.
.
Or boli,,
Hllo darling...
Pati: baad mein
call kro jaan
abhi wo kutti kamini kitchen mein hain.. :-P :-D

Relative: Kya kar rahe ho aajkal?
Me: Jee, social networking.
Relative: Mera matlab jeene ke liye kya karte ho?
Me: Jee, Saans leta hoon. :-P

Ye Hitler Ke Zamane Ki Baat Hai..
.
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Hitler Stage Pe Chadh Ke Speach De Raha
Tha..
.
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Hitler: “Meri Dictionary Mein Impossible Naam
Ka
Word Nahi Hai”
.
.
.
Piche Se Bheed Mein Santa ke dada Nikla Aur
Bola..
.
.
Santa ke dada : “To saale Dekh Ke Leni
Chahiye Thi
Na“ .

Timeline:
Girl1: YoYo! HoWzzz mAh DP..?
Girl2: Owwesm DP BaBy..
Chat:
Girl2: Di Ye Red Waali Lipstick Konsi Brand Ki Liyi Hai Nayi Aayi Kya..?
Girl1: Brand Toh Pata Nahi Hai,But Priya Ki Shaadi Me Se Uthake Leyi Aayi...!!

FOR ALL MY DEAR MARRIED FRIENDS.:
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.
.
.
Love is holding hands in the street,
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
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Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant,
Marriage is a take home packet.
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Love is watching movie on a sofa,
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
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Love is talking about having children, Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
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Love is going to bed early,
Marriage is going to sleep early.
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Love is losing your appetite,
Marriage is losing your figure.
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TV has no place in love,
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
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Love is 1 drink and 2 straws,
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had !".
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Conclusion :
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"Love is blind,
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Marriage is an eye opener :-D :-D

एक एक्स्ट्रा ओडनरी आदमी था..... (जैसा की हर मोहल्ले में एक होता है )
वो रोज घर से बाहर निकल कर बाहर खेल रहे बच्चों से सवाल पूछा करता था---
.
आदमी -एफिल टावर कहाँ है पता है ??
.
बच्चे ---नहीं अंकल....
.
आदमी - हा हा हा हा जब देखो यहीं पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर से बाहर निकलो तो पता चले.....
.
दुसरे दिन फिर से...
.
आदमी - अच्छा ये बताओ क़ुतुब मीनार कहाँ है....
.
बच्चे - नहीं पता अंकल...
.
आदमी ---हा हा हा हा जब देखो यहीं पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर से बाहर निकलो तो पता चले.....
.
रोज रोज के उसके ऐसे सवालों से बच्चे बड़ा जलील महसूस करते थे और तंग आ गए...
बच्चों ने उसे सबक सिखाने की सोची...
.
अगले दिन जब वो आदमी घर से निकला तो इससे पहले वो बच्चों से सवाल पूछता ,
बच्चों ने उससे सवाल पूछा ---- अंकल आपको पता है कि ये ""रामलाल"" कौन है...
.
आदमी--- नहीं मुझे नहीं पता......
.
बच्चे ------ जब देखो बाहर पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर पर भी रहो तो पता पड़े.. :-D :-D

बताओ दिग्विजय सिंह तक की गर्ल फ्रेंड है,
अब समय आ गया है की हम सबको चुल्लू भर पानी में डूब मरना चाहिए … :-D :-D

Ex-Gf ki shadi ka card mila,
Thodi takleef to hui,
.
Fir socha jayenge zaroor,
.
Mohabbat apni jagah hai,
.
.
.
Aur biryaani apni jaga 8-) :-D

Movies of school life :
Classes- Bardasht.
Attendance- Hera pheri.
Class room- No entry.
Teacher- Janidushman.
Exam- Evil dead.
Examiner- Don.
Frnd during paper- Hum aapke hai kaun?
Viva- Encounter.
Marking- Andha kanoon.
Exam time- Qayamat.
Cheating- Lage raho munna bhai.
Question paper- Ek paheli.
Answer paper- Kora kagaj.
Result- Sadma.
pass- Chamatkar.
Fail- Devdas.
Future- Na tum jano na hum. :-P :-P

Husband.. jab mai tumhe marta hu tab tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho.... :o
.
Wife..toilet saaf karke :-D
.
Husband..haste hue : pagal aurat vo kaise? :-D
Wife..toilet aapke toothbrush se saaf karti hu. o.O

So much pain and agony in this World. Crimes,
Corruption, Kidnaps, MH370, Modi, Rahul, Kejri
etc.
And just when you think world has suffered
enough,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
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.
.
Himesh Reshammiya releases his Movie. :-D :-D :-D

Height Of Nonsense.
Girl : Mera Facebook Pe
Account Ban Sakta Hai Kya ???
Boy : Haa Yaar Ban Sakta Hai.
Tumhara Kya Kisi Ka Bhi Ban Sakta
Hai.
Girl : To Main Apne, Account Me
Paisa Jama Kara Sakti Hu.
[Guy Give A Surprise Look]
Girl : Kya Hua..???
Lagta Hai Tumko Bhi Zyada,
Knowledge Nahi Hai Is Baare Me.

2 Cockroach ICU Me Ek Dusre Ke
Bagal Me Admit Thay..
1st: Kisne Maara, Hit Ya Slipper.?
.
2nd: Arre Kisi Ne Nahi Yaar,
Ye Ladkiyan Mujhe Dekh Ke Itna
Chillati Hai Ki..
Attack Aa Gaya...! :-D :-P

Smart answer by a female...
.
On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him...
.
'Nice perfume.....which one is it?...i want to gift it to my wife.. .!!' :-)
.
Lady
'Don't give her....some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her...!' :-P
.

Geography teacher: agar koi chota planet prithvi se takraye to kya hoga?
Student: 'Tadang' jaisa awaaj aayega
Teacher gusse se: Kyu??
Student: yeh duniya... Yeh duniya pital di...

Do Gaanv Ke Ladke Jinhone Naya Naya Laptop Purchase Kiya Thha, Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe.
Golu: “Tuje Apna Laptop Bada Karwana Hai Kya?”
Pappu: “Hana Yaar, Par Kaise?”
Golu : “Ek Kaam Kar, Iss Mein Se Window Nikalwa Ke Darwaja Fit Karwa Le" :-D :-D

Santa- Yaar Shaadi K Jode Kon Banata hai?
Banta-Aasmaan me Bhagwan Banata hai.
Santa- O Tere Ki..
Mai To Darzi ko De Aaya..." :-P

Wife:"Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .
Husband:"Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,
Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .
Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..
fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao... :-P
.
Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .
Husbnd:"Kya hua.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wife: "maa bahen ek hogayi..... BC Daal hi gir gai . :-D :-D

Teacher: today we r going to write 10 lines on
"MY BEST FRIEND" topic..
After few minutes
A boy stands up:- mam 'CHUTIYE' ko English me kya bolte hain.?

Wife To Husband
.
.
Wife : Mein Tangg Aa Gayi Hu
Roz Ki Kit Kit Se
Mujhe Talaaq Chahiye
.
.
Husband : Ye Lo Choclate Khaao.
.
.
.
Wife. ( Romantically ) Mana Rahe Ho
Mujhe..
.
.
.
.
Husband : Nahi Re Pagli
.
Maa Kehti Hai Achchha Kaam Karne
Se
Pehle
Meetha Khaana Chahiye. .!
.
.
Husband Rocked,Wife Shocked

Wife : "why r u home so early?"
Hubby :
"My boss said go to hell!" :-P:-P

बॉस अपनी सेक्रेटरी से – मैं और तुम एक हफ्ते के लिए लन्दन जा रहे है ... एन्जॉय करेंगे ....(आगे की सारी बातें फोन पर )
सेक्रेटरी अपने पति से – आफिस के काम से मुझे बॉस
के साथ एक हफ्ते के लिए लन्दन जाना है .....
.
पति अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड से – बीबी एक हफ्ते के लिए
बाहर जा रही है ...तुम घर आ जाना एन्जॉय करेंगे ....
.
गर्लफ्रेंड जो की टीचर है स्टूडेंट से – बच्चों आज से एक हफ्ते की छुट्टी ....
मैं कहीं बाहर जा रही हूँ .....
.
स्टूडेंट अपने पिता से जो की बॉस है – पापा मेरी एक
हफ्ते की छुट्टी है मैं घर आ रहा हूँ.......
.
पिता सेक्रेटरी से – मेरा बेटा आ रहा है एक हफ्ते के लिए .... टूर कैंसल .....
.
सेक्रेटरी अपने पति से – टूर कैंसल ....
.
पति अपनी टीचर गर्लफ्रेड से –
बीबी नही जा रही है ... प्रोग्राम कैंसल ......
.
टीचर स्टूडेंट से – छुट्टी कैंसल.....
.
स्टूडेंट अपने पिता से जो कि बॉस है – पापा टीचर ने छुट्टी कैंसल कर दी है ...
मैं नही आऊंगा .....
.
बॉस सेक्रेटरी से - मेरा बेटा नही आ रहा है .... फिर से लन्दन ....
एन्जॉय करेंगे ......
.
.
.
.
बाकी आप लोग समझदार हैं ......
फिर वहीं से शुरू....

कोई चायनीज लड़की अगर तुम्हारा मन चुरा कर ले जाये...
तो उसे क्या कहेंगे..???
.
.
"मन्चुरियन" :-P

संता को एक लावारिस बंदर मिला।
वह उसे पुलिस स्टेशन ले गया।
इंस्पेक्टर ने कहा: इसे चिड़ियाघर ले जाओ।
संता दूसरे दिन बंदर के साथ बस स्टॉप पर खड़ा था।
इंस्पेक्टर ने देखा तो पूछा: इसे चिड़ियाघर लेकर नहीं गए?
संता: कल ले गया था। बहुत घूमे और बड़ा मजा भी आया! आज कुतुब मीनार जा रहे हैं।

is saal election me dhamaal ho gaya....
1. N D Tiwari ko beta mil gaya
2. Modi ko biwi mil gayi
3. Aur Digii ko dono... Beti jaisi biwi mil gayi.
Yeh election thaa yaa Kumbh ka Mela !!!!!

When girls upload her pic, the next
3 years she be busy in replying .
.
.
.
.
thankeww, thanks sweetie, thanks cutie, mutie,
'jk wall puttie'
.
.
.
-
when boy upload his pic... he be busy in rplyng:
.
.
.
.
kutte terse to accha hi lg rha hu>_< , Kamine terse
bhi , Chup reh chutiye , Saale tu toh bol hi mat..

Ek Aadmi Ka Gala Beth Gaya, Bahut Koshish Ki Par Aaram Nahi Mila.
Raat Ke Do Baje Tang Aakar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Kuch Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Hai Ke Kya Karoon?”
Biwi Boli: “Ismein Sharmaane Ki Kya Baat Hai Samne Hi Doctor Ka Ghar Hai, Chale Jaao”
Pati: “Raat Ke Do Baje Kisi Ke Ghar Jaate Acha Nahi Lagta”
Patni: “Doctor Ka Farz Hota Hai Mareej Ko Dekhna Aur Theek Karna, Rat Ya Din Ka Koi Matlab Nahi Hota Ismein”
Pati Ne Is Baat Ko Socha Aur Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Samne Wale Apartment Mein Pahunch Ke Dawaja Khat-Khataya,
Ander Se Doctor Ki Biwi Ne Pucha: “Kaun Hai?”
Pati (Gala Bethi Hui Awaaz Mein): “Main Hoon Aapka Padosi, Doctor Sahab Hai?”
Ander Se Biwi Ki Hot Awaaz Aayi: “Nahi Hai, Aa Jaao“ :-D :-D

khuda kare apni dosti itni gahri ho
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khuda kare apni dosti itni gahri ho
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beech sarak pe tu pite
or
galti meri ho....

A Heart Touching Fight-
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GIRL- "I want to end our Relationship.
I m going to return everything u gave
me"
BOY- "Ok... then
Let's Start wid Hugs & Kisses...
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.
.
moral:- boyz ko bas chipakne ka bahana chahaiye

Aunty said to my Mom -
.
" Meri ladki bta rhi thi k tmhara ladka
raat 2-3 bje tk facebook use karta hai
"
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.
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.
my mom simply said,
.
" Aapki ladki ko kaise pta ?
Raat 2 bje use sapne aate hai " !! :-P :-D

Vacation Special :
Wife ne apni Maa ko fon kiya: Mammi mera un se jhagda ho gya hain, main 3-4 mahino k liye ghar aa rahi hu....
Ab DIL tham lo .....
Maa boli: Jhagda us kambakhat ne kiya he toh saza bhi usey he milni chahiye, Tu wahin ruk main 5-6 mahine k liye aa rahi hoon.....

Ek 14 saal k ladke ko,
10 saal ki khubsurat ladki ki Photo
raste me mili,
.
Or us ladke ko ladki se pyar ho gya..
Uska us ladki ke liye pyar Dhire dhire
badhane lga..
.
Wo us ladki se bahut pyar krne lga..
Lekin wo ladka us ladki ko, Kabhi nhi
paa saka..
.
Kuch saalo baad..
Uski wife ne wo photo dekha or
Puchha"tumhe ye photo
kahase mila?
.
"Ladke ne puchha"kyu?
"Ladki ne kaha:
"Mera photo kho gya tha, Jb me 10
saal ki thi
". SACHA PYAR Kbhi v FAIL NAI HOTA :-P

She: Liver kharab hai, maine bhagwaan
se tumhare acche hone ki wish ki.
He:
Raham kar kamini aur kitna whiskey?
She: Tu mar hi jaa saale.!! :-P

Status uploaded by a Heart
broken
boy ;-(
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dabbay mai dabba dabbay
main
cake...
Ek ladki add huwi thi wo bhi
fake. :-(

TV Anchor interviewing a Farmer:
Q: Aap Bakre ko kya khilate ho?
Farmer : Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko...
Farmer : Ghaas...
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Farmer : Use bhi Ghaas hi khilata hu.....
Anchor: Inhain baandhte kidher ho?
Farmer : Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko.....
Farmer : Bahar ke kamre mein
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Farmer : Use bhi bahar ke kamre mein......
Anchor: Aur nehlate kaise ho?
Farmer : Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Kale ko......
Farmer : Pani se
Anchor: Aur Safaid ko?
Farmer : Use bhi pani se.....
Anchor Ghusse se:
Kamine, jab dono ke saath sub-kuchh ek jaisa karta hai toh mujhse baar baar kyu puchhta hai, "Kala ya Safaid?"
Farmer : Kyu ke Safaid bakra mera hai.......
Anchor: Aur kala?
Farmer : Woh bhi mera hi hai.......!

His songs for her
1st date -Hey sexy lady
Romance - Jeene laga hoon
Wedding - Chandan sa badan
10 yrs later - Kuch na kaho, kuch bhi na kaho :-D

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on
it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on ..!! :-P

Girls On Facebook - Fashion, Friends, Boys &
Attitude.
Girls in Real Life - Mummy aaj
Sunday hai aaj main pochha nahi lagaungi. :v
-
Guys On Facebook - Girls , Beer & Ego.
Guys in Real Life - Mummy is Pajama ka nada
dhila ho gaya , naya laga do. :-P

Girlfriend : kya kar sakte ho? mere liye ?
Boyfriend: Chand tare tod loon, mountain
se kood jaun, tufaan ka saamna
kar loon.
Girlfriend : awwwwwwww come to me. i'm alone.
Boyfriend : but its raining yarr ! :-D

Breaking News:
Shatrugan Sinha LokSabha ke naye Speaker banne waale hai.
Simple Logic hai Bhaiya...
Unse acha "Khamosh" kaun bol sakta hai.

Girls Status : Playing with 'kuchi puchi' (my dog)
345 Likes
Boy 1 : Kaash hum bhi kutte hotey...
Boy 2 : Bow bow bowwww bowww
Boy 3 : Akhir kutte bhi toh insaan hotey hain...
Boy 4 : I is also lub dog so much. my frnds say i
is a kuta.
...
Boys Status : Playing with crocodiles
0 Likes
Boy 1 : Rahega toh tu kutta hi
Boy 2 : bachon vale kam hi kariyo :-D :-D

5 things that make happy
-Buy 1 get 1 free
-Flat 50% off
-Tatkal Ticket confirmation
-Winning Cricket match
-Wife is not at home

Life cycle of clothes in
India :
Party wear
Casual wear
Gym wear
Night wear
Holi wear
Dusting cloth
Pochha
R. I. P :-D :-D

Kya aapki life bahut boring
hai?aap boriyat feel kar rahe hai????
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Agar haan
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Toh type kijiye
I love (aapke lover ka
name) and send it to
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ur dad's number
Kasam se life mein hungama
mach jaega. :-P

Love Marrige:
Raat K Waqt
Shohar:
Paani Pilao
Biwi Paani Lenay Gayi,
Shohar Ko Neend Aa Gayi,
Biwi Saari Raat Paani Ka Glass Pakde Khadi Rahi,
Subah Shohar Ki Aankh Khuli To Dekh Kar Bohat Khush Huva Aur Bola!
Maango Kya Maangti Ho?
Biwi:
Kamine Talaaq De. :-D

*woke up* *looking awkwardly at everyone *
Mom- uth gya?
Me- haanji
Mom- sharam nahi aati itni late uthata hai, itna mota ho gaya ho hai, tere dost tujhe chidhate nhi hai kya?
*after taking bath*
Mom- beta breakfast karlena, lo parantha.
Me- *eats 1, eats 2, eats 3*
Mom- aajkal tu khana theek se nahi khata, dubla ho jayega toh log kya kahenge.

good joke

एक कर्नल साहब शादी के बाद पत्नी तो घर लाये
तो दरवाज़े पर एक कुत्ता भोंका...
कर्नल :- भोंकना बंद कर......1
कुत्ता :- भौं भौं
कर्नल :- भोकना बंद कर......2
कुत्ता :- भौं भौं
कर्नल :- भोकना बंद कर......3
कुत्ता :- भौं भौं
कर्नल :- ठायँ ठायँ (गोली मार दी कुत्ते को...)
पत्नी :- ये आपने क्या किया एक बेजुबान जानवर को मार दिया...
मुझे पता होता के आप इतने ज़ालिम है..तो...आप से शादी नहीं करती...
कर्नल :- भोंकना बंद कर......1
..
कसम से उसके बाद उन दोनों की कभी लड़ाई नहीं हुई... :-D

bollywood good joke

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare!
Baccha: Oye Gubbancho!:*
Gubbarewala: Abuse mat kar! >:/
Baccha: Ab use na karu toh kab use karu? :-D
Gubbarewala: Yaar tujhe Mukka maar dunga! Ja yahaan se! ~:-)
Baccha: Yaar mere nose pe maarna please! Fir mein dance karunga! :-D
Gubbarewala: Wo kyu? :-(
Baccha: Coz, Naak-Mukka ,Naak -Mukka , Naak-Mukka, Naak-Mukka. :-D
Gubbarewala: Aise dardnaak jokes na maara kar! Dard hota hai dil ko mere! :|
Baccha: "Dard dilo ke kamm ho jaate, mein aur tum gar Hum ho jaate" :-*
Gubbarewala: Hmmm!:| Mein seedha hu saale Jalebi bai ke bhutiye bacche!!:| Ab bhaag yahan se warna teri chaddi bina logon ke saamne 'XPOSE' kar dunga tujhe! :|

किसी ने मेरे से पूछा -
आप शादी से पहले क्या करते थे।??
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.
.
मैंने कहा-
जो मेरा दिल करता था। :-D

ऐटिट्यूड की हाइट तो देखें...
एक आदमी कॉकरोच को मार रहा था।
मरने से पहले कॉकरोच ने आदमी से आखिरी बार बोला...
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'मार दे मुझे..!
डरपोक कहीं के.!
तू मुझसे इसलिए चिढ़ता है...
क्योंकि तेरी बीवी मुझसे डरती है
और तुझसे नहीं...!!!' :-P :-D

good joke

एक लड़का स्किन प्राब्लम से दुखी होकर डॉक्टर के पास पहुंचता है.....
डॉक्टर: तुम कौन-सा साबुन इस्तेमाल करते हो?
मरीज: बजरंग का साबुन।
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डॉक्टर: पेस्ट?
मरीज: बजरंग का पेस्ट?
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डॉक्टर: शैम्पू?
मरीज: बजरंग का शैम्पू।
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डॉक्टर: अरे यार आखिर... ये बजरंग कहां की कंपनी है?
.
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मरीज: बजरंग मेरा रूम पार्टनर है। :-D :-D

लडकियों की दो समस्याएं :
1. कैसे कुत्ते की तरह देख रहा है!
2. कुत्ता देख भी नहीं रहा है!
अब "कुत्ता" क्या करे! :-D

Hum pani kyn pite hain .
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. Kyun ki hm pani kha ni skte .. :v

All indian problem is same bhai
GF nahi mil rahi, jeb mein
paise nahi hai, mobile
purana ho gaya. :-D :-D

Ek Diwaar par
likha huya tha,
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.
.
"Life Is Very Beautiful".
.
.
..
Kisi ne uske niche
. ek line aur add
Kar di:
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.
"Terms&
Conditions Of Your Wife
Apply"....!!!! :-D :-P

आज का ज्ञान :
अगर आपकी मैग्नेटिक पर्सनैलिटी के बावजूद लड़की आपकी तरफ आकर्षित नहीं हो रही है...
इसका मतलब लड़की में आयरन की कमी है :-D

A Girl's character represents the
character of her family.
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Where as
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A Boy's character represents his
friends'.

Beta: papa hamare kitne rishtedar hai mein toh sabko janta b nahi
papa.
koi baat nahi bas tera result Aane de Jupiter wala chacha aur mercury wali mausi tak tujhe call karegi :-P

Jivan Me 3 Baat Kisi Ko
Nahi Batani.. ...
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1)
2)
3)
Nahi Batani Matlab Nahi Batani...
Kisi Ko Bhi Nahi :-P :-P :-D :-D

Some Times Things Sound More
Romantic In Hindi....
Mai Kho Gaya Hu Tumhare
Pyaar Me, Ab Tum Bhi Kho Jao...
TRy In English........
I m Lost In Ur LOve, Now You
Get Lost. :-D

Me at fb conversation last nite
Me: Whats ur name?
Unknown Grl: KHUSHI..
Me: Whr r u from??
Unknown Grl: Noida..
Me: Pr KHUSHI Ka toh koi thikaana nhi hota h na!! :-P
**BLOCKED**

Pani me gai hui bhains
Aur
Shopping mall mein gai hui aurat
kabhi jaldi bahar nahi aati... :-D :-D

Alcohol is the worst thing in the world ..
A friend drank a lot last night & ended up saying "I love you"
.
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to his Own Wife...can you imagine that.

Dr: “Mrs Rani, Good News For You”
Girl: “What Do You Mean By Mrs Rani? I Am Miss Rani”
Dr: “Oh! Am Sorry Miss Rani, Bad News“ :-D :-D

good joke

MAA - Beta Apple Khaoge?
.
BETA - Nahi..
.
MAA - Beta Mango Khaoge?
.
BETA - Nahi..
.
MAA - Beta Orange Khaoge?
.
BETA - Nahi..
.
MAA - Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega."

She: How much u love me?
Me: I love u itna, UP me hai crime jitna. <3
She: Awww :-* :-*

Ek Admi Apne Bete (Pappu) Ko Buri Tarha Se Maar Raha Tha
Sath Wale Padosi Ne Ye Dekha To Hairan Hoke Uske Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Padosi: “Arrey Itna Kyun Maar Rahe Ho Bechare Ko?”
Aadmi: “Kal Isska Result Aane Wala Hai Or Mujhe Aaj Tour Pe Jana Hai Socha Kal Ka Kaam Aaj Hi Kar Loon.“ :-D

Beta 12th karle fir aish karna.
Beta graduation.
Beta PG karle.
Beta MBA.
Beta Naukri.
Beta Shaadi.
Beta mar jaa phir to aish hi aish hai.

Kanjoos Lala Muftimal Ek Bar Jungle Se Gujar Raha Tha Achanak Uske Paanv Mein Kanta Chubh Gaya.
Muftimal Bola: “Achha Hua Chappal Pahan Kar Nahi Aaya Nahi To Usmein Ched Ho Jata“ :-D

अच्छी बाते तो सभी को अच्छी लगती है लेकिन जब तुम्हे किसी की बुरी बात भी अच्छी लगने लग जाए तो समझ लो तुम्हे प्यार
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नहीं हुआ है बल्कि
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बेइज़्ज़ती सहने की आदत हो गयी है :-P

Kamaal hai, Aajkal 12 saal ke bacchon
ko 'saccha pyaar' mil jaata hai, hume to
apni books bhi nahi mila karti thi

Ladki Sath Ho To Restaurant Ka Bill
.
.
Ladki Door Ho To Mobile Ka Bill
.
.
.
Aur
.
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.
Ladki Hamesha Ke Liye Hi Door Ho Jaye To
.
.
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"Daru Ka Bill"
.
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Isliye Na Lagao Dil, Na Aayega Bill :-P

Rashtrapati bhawan mein party shuru hui....
Waiter: sir, kya loge?
Advani: Leni to Shapath thi.....par chalo tum Jal-jeera hi de do..!!

Me : kidhar hai??
Wife : bahar ghoomne gayi thi ab ghar wapas AA rahi hu ghoom ke.
Me : ghoom ke kyun AA rahi hai Shaktiman hai kya? :-D
*Blocked Forever*

Rishtedar- beta kya karta hai aapka?
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Mummy - boht hi mehnat karta hai.. candy crush
me
110 level par hai :-P

Judge- Kya proof hai k tum car speed me nahi chala rahe the?
Man- Sir, main apni wife ko lene sasural ja raha tha.
Judge- Riha kar do is masoom ko.... :-D

लड़का– सर, मैं आपकी बेटी से 15 साल से प्यार
करता हूँ.
लड़की का पिता- तो अब क्या चाहते हो ?
लड़का- शादी.
लड़की का पिता- थैंक गॉड, मैंने सोचा शायद तुम
पेंशन चाहते हो … ! :-D

Whatsapp chat of bollywood..
Katrina- hii
Priyanka- bol,
Katrina- lets go london in weekend
Kareena- aa gai aukaat mei sali, foriegner ki bachi
Katrina- 3:)
Deepika-tu hi jaa, aur ranbir ka picha chod de
Priyanka-kareena ko kaun add kiya
Saif- mei kiya, kya kar legi
Sahid- gussa mat kar priyanka
Priyanka- tu chup reh kareena k chamche
Kareena- jalo mat barabari karo
Sahid- saif teri toh mei pungi bha junga
Saif left.
Priyanka left.
Srk- mujhe jungli billi bahut pasand hai
Salman- toh jungle mei reh harami
Aamir- mannat mere naam kar dena bhai
Srk-chup be bikhari
Katrina- koi london chalega
Anushka- mei chalu
Deepika- chii anu, tu iske sath jaegi
Katrina- 3:)
8976***** joined
Anushka- ye kaun hai
Salman- virat kohli :-P
Anushka left.
Salman was removed.
Akshay- Srk tu toh india chod de, modi pm ban gaya hai
Srk- haa bhai pakistan jaa ra hu
Aamir- acha hai, tera baap bhi toh waha rehta hai na
Srk- -_-
Akshay- :-Dlol
Srk left.
Katrina- koi london chalra kya
Rajpal yadav- mei chalne k liye ready hu
Katrina-
Johny lever- mei b chalta hu
Paresh lawal- aae raju, meri bhi ticket karwa
Katrina left.
Akshay- raju apne baap ko bolna
Kareena- raju.. Hehe.. Nic 1 paresh ji
Twinkle- tera baap hai na paresh sali
Ranbir- meri behen ko koi kuch nai bolega
Deepika- i love u ranbir
Ranbir- are yar, ye toh piche hi pad gai
Deepika left.
Vidya balan- hello every1
Kareena- aunty aa gai,bhago bhago..
Kareena left.
Aamir left.
Ranbir left.
Rajpal yadav left.
Paresh rawal left.
Vidya- :-( ;-(

Jitna dard, tu aur tera pyaar na deta,

utna dard toh 'Internet pack' khatam hone ka ehsaas de gaya. :-D

Arranged marriage is like
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accepting
an unknown friend request on facebook :-P

Ek chor - chori kar ke, Ghar se ja
raha tha
ki ... bacche ki aankh khul gayi ...
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.
aur baccha bola: .
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.
School bag bhi le ja Kamine, varna
shor macha
dunga .. Hahahahahaha :-D :-D

About girls in different countries:
USA:Fashion franky
BRAZIL:Hot & Smart
UK:Intelligent & good
JAPAN:Hard worker
FRANCE:Fashion & accesories liker
INDIA:Kuch ho ya na ho,
bt ATTITUDE itna sara ki pu6o mat...

Girls Status: gud n8 guYs and gAyls
657 Likes
Boy1: nice dp
Boy2: kaash ye raat apki jindagi mein khushiyan le
aye
Boy3: Kya baat boli yaar, i loves u
Boy3: Raat hai suni suni, unka aya sandesh....
China Nepal Bangladesh.
Boy4: have a bery bery nice dreams
...
Boys Status: Good Night Guys
0 Likes
Boy1: So ja salle chaukidaar :-P

"iPhone 5s. How much?"
"50k"
"Cool. Here."
"Bhaiya iPhone ka cover kaise diya?"
"400"
"400??? Bahaut mehnga hai. 200 mai dena hai to bolo"

*Birthday Wishes*
Girls: Happppyyy Birthdayyy Darling Moouuaaaah Hugs
Kisses mah baby :-* :-* :-* :-*
Boys: BC, Birthday hai? Chal daru pila..!! 3:)

Gusse ka aana "mard" hone ki
nishani hai,
magar....
gusse ko pee jana
"married" hone ki
nishani hai!!

Darpok hai wo log jo ishq nahi karte
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Saala barbad hone ke liye bhi kaleja chayiye ;-)

Seasonal Love story :-
Wo ladka aaj b garmi me mar raha hai,
Jisko ek ladki ne kabhi kaha tha...
.
.
.
Tum iss sweater me Ranbir kapoor lagte ho...!

Mummy kehti hai jab tu ghar par hota hai tab
phone chhodta nahi.
.
.
Or jab bahar hota hai to phone uthata kyu nahi :-P :-P

Alcohol is the worst thing in the world ..
A friend drank a lot last night & ended up saying
"I love you"
.
.
.
.
.
.
to his Own Wife...can you imagine that.

Before Marriage - "U Are Adorable." B|
After Marriage - "U Are A Door Bell." 3:)

विदेशी देशों ने पहले सड़के बनायीं और फिर
लोगो को गाड़िया दी चलाने के लिए, लेकिन
हमने पहले गाड़ियां दी और अब सड़के बना रहे
है। :-P

She: Hey, nice DP :-)
He: hmm..
She: kya hua mood off hai?
He: nahin bas soch raha tha ki tumne kis kaam ke liye yaad kiya hoga..

FIFA‬ World Cup
For Indians is like
'Begaani Shaadi Mein
Abdullah Deewana' !

लडका अपनी गर्लफ्रेन्ड से...
"मेरे पास मेरे दोस्त जैसी कार नही पर तुम्हे पल्को पे बीठा के घुमाउंगा,
उसके जैसा बडा घर नही पर तुम्हे दीलमें रखुंगा,
उसके जीतने पैसे नही पर मजदुरी करके खीलाउंगा
और क्या चाहिए तुम्हे ???"
लडकी : बस कर पगले, रुलायेगा क्या ???
चल अपने दोस्त का नंबर दे....!!!" :-P :-D

Wife(in a romantic mood):
Janu Ek Puppy do na!
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Pappu:" Uff, Fashion Dekho...
Ghar me khane ko Paise nhi hain aur is ko Kutte ka pilla chahiye...! :-D

Girl: Bhaiyya 10 rs. wali Maggi dena.
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Shopkeeper: Ye lo.
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Girl: Kitne hue?
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Joke upar hi khatam hogaya yaaron.

Sirf Choti si Galti ki wajah se 1 Bookshop Me 1 Milion Books Sale Hui,
Book ka Nam Tha
"AN IDEA THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR WIFE"
Bas "L" Ki Jgah "W" Print Ho Gya Tha. ;-)

Friend: Bhai aisa kuch bata jisse saanp bhi marr
jaaye aur laathi bhi na toote.
Me: Goli maar de ;-) :-P

EK STUDENT KI KAHANI:
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Kal raat book meri taraf dekhti rhi,
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aur nind mujhe apni taraf khichti rhi
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Nind ka jhoka mera man moh gaya
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or kal raat fir ek honhar studnt
bina padhe so gaya..
:-D

Doctor: Tumhare Kaan Kaise Jale?
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Santa: Main Kameez Istari Kar Raha
Tha, Ke Phone
Aa Gaya.
Maine Jaldi mein Phone Ki Jagah
Istari Kaan Mai Laga Li
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Doctor: To Doosra Kaan Kaise Jala?
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Santa: Ab Ambulance Ko Bhi Phone
Karna Tha Na. lol :-P

मत देख ऐ हसीना मुझको यु हँसते हँसते
मेरे दोस्त बड़े नालायक है, कह देंगे भाभी नमस्ते

I am always First at....
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College's Black List
and
Girl's Block List . . . . ! ! !

Father: Beti Aaj tumne Phone par sirf
ek ghanta
baat ki,
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Tum ne to kabi 4 Ghante se kam Baat
hi nahi ki,
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Beti: Papa ye wrong number tha :-D

Anju: I hate Delhi summers.. :-(
Manju: Me too.. ;-(
Chat;
Manju: Kya hua Didi? :o Anju: Garmi mein saara make up utar gaya toh husband ne pehchana nahi..!! :-P

Question: Ek Ghanta Padhne se aur Ek Ghanta Nahi Padhne se Kya Farak padta hai ???
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Answer: GHANTA Farak Padta hai!!! :-D

15 yrs ago Me: paise do na dance class join karunga
Baap: chal be padhaai kar
Now
Him: Wo dance show pe tere jitne bachche kya naachte hai:-(

Wife : Tum Saari Dunya Mein Bhi Dhoondo To Bhi Mujh Jaisi Doosri Nahi Milegi..
Husband: Tum Kya SamjhTi Ho.. Mein Doosri Bhi Tum Jaisi Hi Dhoondoon Ga..! ;-)
Hadd Ho Gayi.. :-P

WIFE: Suno ji; agar tumhaare baal isi raftaar se jhadte rahe toh main tumhein talaaq de doongi!!
Pati: He uper wale, aur main paagal inko bachaane ki koshish kar rahaa thaa :-D

Wife - Tum to kehte the ki Shaadi ke baad bhi mujhse bahut Pyaar karoge....
Husband - Mujhe kya pata tha ki tumhari Shaadi mujhse hi ho jayegi ........!!! :-D

Nothing is impossible, if a man tries (y)
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And if a woman cries ;-(

Naya Sipahi(Inspector se), "Sir! Ye bilkul galat hai ki main us chor se dar gaya tha."
Inspector, "To tum us gadi ke peeche kyon chipe the?"
Naya Sipahi, "Ji wah to main kutta dekhkar chipa tha."

good joke

Ek chota baccha dusre bacche se, 
"Agar din ko sury na nikal to kya hoga?"
Doosre bacche ne jawab diya, 
"Bijli ka bill bad jayega."

Manager ne aane wale se poocha, 
"Kya tumhen pata nahin ki bina aagya andar aana mana hai."
Aanewala, "Janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon."

Mehman(Baby se)-Bhai, 
aaj to chay peene ka bahot maza aaya.
Baby-Uncle ji, agar billee ne doodh munh na mara hota to aur bhi maza aata."

Ek bar teen aadmi khade the.
Pahla-Main karodpati hun.
Doosra:Main lakhpati hoon.
Teesra:Main apni patni ka pati hun.

Doctor(Kavi se):Main sampadak nahin doctor hoon. 
Aap apni kavita nahin bimari sunaiye.
Kavi:Mujhe kavita sunane ki hi bimari hai.

Beggar: Sir,
Family Se Dur Ho Gaya Hun
Milne Ke Liye 500 Rs Ki Zarurat Hai.
SETH: Kahan Hai Teri Family?
Beggar-Samne DHA Me Film Dekh Rahi Hai

Man outside phone booth :
Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
&
haven't spoken a word..
Man inside - Sir
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I'm talking to my wife :D =D =))
Topic over.

Na Jaane Ye Jhuti Duniya Kaha Jaa
Rhi h,
wA wA
Na Jaane Ye Jhuti Duniya Kaha Jaa
Rhi h,
INSAN Khud "PAAD" K Kehta h
Ye "BADBU" Kaha Se Aa Rahi hai

Up Coming Facebook Movies
1.Jab We Chat
2.Namastey Facebook
3.Hum Aapke Hai Mutual Friend
4.7 Gaali Maaf
5.Hum Like Kar Chuke Sanam
6.Kabhi Relationship Kabhi Single
7.Meine Poke Q Kiya
8.Mere Brother Ki Profile..
Dekna Math Bhulna.

Teacher:Batao k quick, quicker quickest forms ko hindi main kese kahen ge?
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Student : Bhaag, Abay Bhaaag,Bhaag teri maaaa ki.

Jis raste pe chalo
nazre juka k chalo
is se
Na sirf izzat barti he
balke
Niche giri hui chizo me se koi
kaam ki cheez b haath lag sakti He

Gabbar: is thakur ke kan kat do
thakur: nahi me andha ho jaunga.
gabbar: kan katne se koi andha hota he kya?
thakur: chasma kya tere bap k kan pe lagaunga

True Love:
Baba :- Beta tujh pr chudail ka saya hai...
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Ladka :-Baba me thappad mar dunga
Agar
Meri Girlfriend k bare me kuch kaha to....

Girl friend is a "PANIPURI" very tasty..
Lover is a "PIZZA"
very hot and spicy..
But
Wife is a "KHICHADI"
good 4 health but no taste...

Jethalal : are daya raat ko mobile charging me mat rakho,blast ho jayaga
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Daya:Tappu ke papa aap tension mat lijiye mene battery nikal di he.

Boy to girl in Dance Party : kya tum mere saath dance karogi ?
Girl : me bachho ke saath dance nahi karti !
Boy : sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki Aap Pregnant Women Ho !!!!

1 Ladke ne ek ladki ko call ki
Boy: I LOVE U Jaan.
Girl: Sacchi
Boy: Mucchi
Girl: Ek 100 ka recharge karwa do plz
Boy: Sorry Didi Rong No.

Ek admi sadhu se bola,
Meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaya batayien na shadu ji…
Aur phir shadu ghusse me bole ,
Abe saale upaya hota to main sadhu kyu banta..

traffic police wala (chalan( book nikal k bola: naam bol? ladka:"trikulavatty thekkeparambli swami" police wala( chalan book band krke): agli baar gadi dheere chalana....

Customer: Mujhe phone per
dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko
dhamkiya de raha hai?
Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke,
Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.

Machchar ne apni wife ko divorce de diya
Pata hai kyu
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..
..
..
Bolta Hai..
uske bachhe ki Ragon me kisi aur ka khoon tha!

SWEET DEMAND-
ßacchi Papa Se Gussa Hokar Ghar K ßahar ßaithi Thi
Maa-Kya Hua?
ßacchi-Aapke Husßand K Saath Meri ßanti Nahi
Mujhe Mera Husßand Chahiye..;)

jab khidki che dhekha to sadak pe koi nahi tha wha wha jab khidki che dekha to sadak pe koi nahi tha fir sadak pe aake dekha to khidki pe koi nahi tha wha wha

Teacher : Hame in machron kopaida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher : Kyon?
Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.

Dil Se Dil Milte He To Pyar Hota He.
Dil Se Dil Milte He To Pyar Hota He.
Jab Hum Unke Papa Se Mile To.
Jute, Chapal, Lat, Guse Free Discount Me Milte He.

Aaaj to Maa ne V saaf bol diya....
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Beta WIFE aisi lana...
Jo facebook na use karti hon,
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Ghar mein aur kuch kaam bhi hote hain.......

Bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai...
Books hai
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Notes hai
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Time hai
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Mauka hai
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or hausla to itna hai ki jab chahu padh sakta hun....
Bus 1 hi baat ki kami hai..

MOOD

Kissing A Girl On Her Forehead Is Respect,,
Kissing A Girl On Her Cheek Is Care,,
Kissing A Girl On Her Eyes Is Care & Love,,
Kissing A Girl On Her Lips Is Love,,
But Kissing A Girl In Front Of Her Boyfriend.....
Hud Hud Dabangg Dabangg Dabangg

BOY: A, B, C
GIRL: What?
BOY: Always Be Careful
GIRL: Ahan then?
BOY: D, E, F, G
Girl : ??
BOY: Don't Ever ForGet That
GIRL: Hmmm...
BOY: I'm H I
Girl: What H I ?
BOY: Happily In love
GIRL: So ??
BOY: J, K, L, M, - Just Keep
Loving
Me
GIRL: And how about N, O,
P, Q, R,
S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z ?
BOY: No Other Person
Quite,
Reasonable , Shall Treat U
Very
Well Xcept me You'll Zee

Mai To Aaj Apni Bike Aise Hi Wash
Kar Raha Tha.
Ki
Daddy Bole== Kamine Aaj Phir
Date Pe Ja Raha Hai Tu.......
Batao Yaro Ab Koi Bike Bhi Nahi
Dho Sakta Kya.....

Ultimate serious........ - ...
ek dam
jaanleva

ladka- Call receive kyo
nahi kia ?
ladki - wo main .
wo main .
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wo main
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........ ring tone par naach
rahi thi......

Lalu ke piche kutta ka bach laga...
Lalu bhagte bhagte bola
"HUM THO BSNL KA CARD DALWAYA HU"
Sasura e vadafone ka network kaise paked raha hai...
SRI BHARGAV

Koi "ROKAR" Juda Hota Hai,
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Koi "HASKAR" Juda Hota Hai,
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Par,
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Juda Hone ka "GUM" tab Hota Hai.
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Jab,
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Koi kisi ka "HOKAR" Juda Hota Hai....:a:d:

Aarjh kiya he.

Kamjor ho giya teri judai me.

Kamjor ho giya teri judai me.

Ki ab to chiti bhi kich le jati he Charpaiye . . . . B-)

Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.

Saala paani mein hi kuchgadbad hai.

Boy:My father shaves 40 times a day.
Friend: Is he crazy.
Boy:No,he is a barber.

ivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi..

Jindegi milti hai 1 bar ,
maut ati hai 1 bar ,
pyar hota hai 1 bar ,
dil tut ta hai 1 bar ,
jab sab hota hai 1 bar ,
to fir . . . . . .
Su-su Q ati hai bar bar . . . . .

Chhup gaye saare najaare,
oye kya baat ho gayi,

Dosto, abhi pata kar ke aata hoo kya baat ho gayi!

Accident dekhne par expressions:-

AMERICAN~>oh my God
PAKISTANI~>ya allah
CHINESE~>haiyaa
AFRICAN~>o lala
AUSTRIA~>got a hit

ODISHA>>>>SALA MARI GALA KIRE.............

Teacher:Kartik,why does your
notebook look so old?
kartik:because it is my history notebbok mam.

Father:Did you misbehave at school ?
Son:No,dad i was quietly stand on
the bench,the whole day.

Neetu:What will you give me if i eat 170 gms
of sugar?
Ashu:Auto fare to go to hospital.

Teacher: Indu,tell me how many
hours do you sleeping every
day?
Indu: how do i know,ma'am?I don't look at the clock. 

Smile is a source to win a heart..
Smile is a name of lovely mood..
Smile creates greatness in personality....
So,never forget to BRUSH daily........:-D

Wife- raat ko chor aaya tha ghar me, or mujhe kiss krke chala gya.
Pati- tumne roka nahi
Wife- bahut kaha tha rukne k liye, par bola fir aunga

Father- btao kya baat h kyo ro rahe ho,,,,ghabrao na...mujhe apna dost samjho.
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Son- kya batau yaar mere wali se milne gya tha tere wali ne dekh liya... bahut mara

Boy:" Main tumse bahat pyar krta hu
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Reh nhi skta tumhare bina
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Girl:" Mere piche apni zindagi
barbad mat kar
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Boy:" Q ??
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Girl:" Iss raste pe patthr or kanto k
alwa kuch nhi
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Boy:" Are pagli... tu tension na le Mere paas WOODLAND k shoes hai bas tu patja.

What is d difference between
PROBLEM,TALENT &
KISMAT?
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6 boys love 1 girl = PROBLEM
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1 boy loves 6 girls = TALENT
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&
6 girls loves 1 boy = KISMAT..

Ek ladka aur ek ladki ek dusre
se bahut pyaar karte the..
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. Ladki ke baap ko pata lag
gaya...
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Usne gusse se bijli se chalne wali aari ko ladki ke gardan
(neck) pe rakh diya..
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Woh aari ladki ko katne hi wali
thi, achanak light chali
gayi... .
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Pass mai khadha woh ladka
chillaya..Bhara -t sarkar
Zindabad..
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Moral:"Agar sacha hai aapka
pyaar to saath hai Bharat
Sarkar...

Santa- Mujhe Shadi Me BMW Mili H.
Banta- Pr Tumhare Paas To Koi Car Nhi H!
Santa- Abe Ghade, BMW Matlab 'Bahut Moti Wife'..

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ..
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isme 1 missing h
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dobara padh rahe ho??
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kbi abcd me 1 aata h.. :p :D

good joke

MUNNA BHAI: ABEY CIRCUT YE BARISH K WAKT BIJLI KYUN CHAMAKTI HAI?

CIRCUT: bahi bolay to upper wala torch maar kar dekhta hoga kahin sookha to nahi reh gaya.

Girl Friend:- Dear,
This Computer Is Not Working As Per My Command!!!
Boy Friend:- Exactly Darling,
Its A Computer Not Ur Boy Friend...

jab kabhi bhi KANJUSI ka award diya jayega,
aapka naam sabse pehle liya jayega,
galti se bhi koi sms na kar dena nhi to ye AWARD haath se nikal jayega

Banta falls in luv wit a nurse..
After much thinking, he finally
writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"

'(-_-)' "(=_=)"
<) (> <( )>
_/ /_ _/ /_
Lover K Saath Ghumte Hue Aap Ka Photo Mila Hai.
Sms Bhejte Rehna,
Wrna Photo Ghar Bhej Deange.

Kitne Log He Teri Mehfil Me.
Fir Bhi Mujhe Tu Akeli Dikhay Deti He.
Ye Mat Sochna Me Sapne Tere Dekhta Hu.
Sapno Me To Teri Saheli Dikhayi Deti He.

2 Larkeyan Dareya Par Nangi Naha Rahi Theen
Un Men Se Ek Boli Ap Ki Choot Par
Tu Bal Hen Meri Par Tu Naheen
Dusri Ne Jawab Diya Kya Ap Ne Kabhi
Chalti Sadak Par Ghas Dekhi Hae