Some Times Things Sound More
Romantic In Hindi....
Mai Kho Gaya Hu Tumhare
Pyaar Me, Ab Tum Bhi Kho Jao...
TRy In English........
I m Lost In Ur LOve, Now You
Get Lost. :-D

Me at fb conversation last nite
Me: Whats ur name?
Unknown Grl: KHUSHI..
Me: Whr r u from??
Unknown Grl: Noida..
Me: Pr KHUSHI Ka toh koi thikaana nhi hota h na!! :-P
**BLOCKED**

Pani me gai hui bhains
Aur
Shopping mall mein gai hui aurat
kabhi jaldi bahar nahi aati... :-D :-D

Alcohol is the worst thing in the world ..
A friend drank a lot last night & ended up saying "I love you"
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to his Own Wife...can you imagine that.

Dr: “Mrs Rani, Good News For You”
Girl: “What Do You Mean By Mrs Rani? I Am Miss Rani”
Dr: “Oh! Am Sorry Miss Rani, Bad News“ :-D :-D

good joke

MAA - Beta Apple Khaoge?
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BETA - Nahi..
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MAA - Beta Mango Khaoge?
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BETA - Nahi..
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MAA - Beta Orange Khaoge?
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BETA - Nahi..
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MAA - Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega."

She: How much u love me?
Me: I love u itna, UP me hai crime jitna. <3
She: Awww :-* :-*

Ek Admi Apne Bete (Pappu) Ko Buri Tarha Se Maar Raha Tha
Sath Wale Padosi Ne Ye Dekha To Hairan Hoke Uske Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Padosi: “Arrey Itna Kyun Maar Rahe Ho Bechare Ko?”
Aadmi: “Kal Isska Result Aane Wala Hai Or Mujhe Aaj Tour Pe Jana Hai Socha Kal Ka Kaam Aaj Hi Kar Loon.“ :-D

Beta 12th karle fir aish karna.
Beta graduation.
Beta PG karle.
Beta MBA.
Beta Naukri.
Beta Shaadi.
Beta mar jaa phir to aish hi aish hai.

Kanjoos Lala Muftimal Ek Bar Jungle Se Gujar Raha Tha Achanak Uske Paanv Mein Kanta Chubh Gaya.
Muftimal Bola: “Achha Hua Chappal Pahan Kar Nahi Aaya Nahi To Usmein Ched Ho Jata“ :-D

अच्छी बाते तो सभी को अच्छी लगती है लेकिन जब तुम्हे किसी की बुरी बात भी अच्छी लगने लग जाए तो समझ लो तुम्हे प्यार
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नहीं हुआ है बल्कि
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बेइज़्ज़ती सहने की आदत हो गयी है :-P

Kamaal hai, Aajkal 12 saal ke bacchon
ko 'saccha pyaar' mil jaata hai, hume to
apni books bhi nahi mila karti thi

Ladki Sath Ho To Restaurant Ka Bill
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Ladki Door Ho To Mobile Ka Bill
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Aur
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Ladki Hamesha Ke Liye Hi Door Ho Jaye To
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"Daru Ka Bill"
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Isliye Na Lagao Dil, Na Aayega Bill :-P

Rashtrapati bhawan mein party shuru hui....
Waiter: sir, kya loge?
Advani: Leni to Shapath thi.....par chalo tum Jal-jeera hi de do..!!

Me : kidhar hai??
Wife : bahar ghoomne gayi thi ab ghar wapas AA rahi hu ghoom ke.
Me : ghoom ke kyun AA rahi hai Shaktiman hai kya? :-D
*Blocked Forever*

Rishtedar- beta kya karta hai aapka?
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Mummy - boht hi mehnat karta hai.. candy crush
me
110 level par hai :-P

Judge- Kya proof hai k tum car speed me nahi chala rahe the?
Man- Sir, main apni wife ko lene sasural ja raha tha.
Judge- Riha kar do is masoom ko.... :-D

लड़का– सर, मैं आपकी बेटी से 15 साल से प्यार
करता हूँ.
लड़की का पिता- तो अब क्या चाहते हो ?
लड़का- शादी.
लड़की का पिता- थैंक गॉड, मैंने सोचा शायद तुम
पेंशन चाहते हो … ! :-D

Whatsapp chat of bollywood..
Katrina- hii
Priyanka- bol,
Katrina- lets go london in weekend
Kareena- aa gai aukaat mei sali, foriegner ki bachi
Katrina- 3:)
Deepika-tu hi jaa, aur ranbir ka picha chod de
Priyanka-kareena ko kaun add kiya
Saif- mei kiya, kya kar legi
Sahid- gussa mat kar priyanka
Priyanka- tu chup reh kareena k chamche
Kareena- jalo mat barabari karo
Sahid- saif teri toh mei pungi bha junga
Saif left.
Priyanka left.
Srk- mujhe jungli billi bahut pasand hai
Salman- toh jungle mei reh harami
Aamir- mannat mere naam kar dena bhai
Srk-chup be bikhari
Katrina- koi london chalega
Anushka- mei chalu
Deepika- chii anu, tu iske sath jaegi
Katrina- 3:)
8976***** joined
Anushka- ye kaun hai
Salman- virat kohli :-P
Anushka left.
Salman was removed.
Akshay- Srk tu toh india chod de, modi pm ban gaya hai
Srk- haa bhai pakistan jaa ra hu
Aamir- acha hai, tera baap bhi toh waha rehta hai na
Srk- -_-
Akshay- :-Dlol
Srk left.
Katrina- koi london chalra kya
Rajpal yadav- mei chalne k liye ready hu
Katrina-
Johny lever- mei b chalta hu
Paresh lawal- aae raju, meri bhi ticket karwa
Katrina left.
Akshay- raju apne baap ko bolna
Kareena- raju.. Hehe.. Nic 1 paresh ji
Twinkle- tera baap hai na paresh sali
Ranbir- meri behen ko koi kuch nai bolega
Deepika- i love u ranbir
Ranbir- are yar, ye toh piche hi pad gai
Deepika left.
Vidya balan- hello every1
Kareena- aunty aa gai,bhago bhago..
Kareena left.
Aamir left.
Ranbir left.
Rajpal yadav left.
Paresh rawal left.
Vidya- :-( ;-(

Jitna dard, tu aur tera pyaar na deta,

utna dard toh 'Internet pack' khatam hone ka ehsaas de gaya. :-D

Arranged marriage is like
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accepting
an unknown friend request on facebook :-P

Ek chor - chori kar ke, Ghar se ja
raha tha
ki ... bacche ki aankh khul gayi ...
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aur baccha bola: .
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School bag bhi le ja Kamine, varna
shor macha
dunga .. Hahahahahaha :-D :-D

About girls in different countries:
USA:Fashion franky
BRAZIL:Hot & Smart
UK:Intelligent & good
JAPAN:Hard worker
FRANCE:Fashion & accesories liker
INDIA:Kuch ho ya na ho,
bt ATTITUDE itna sara ki pu6o mat...

Girls Status: gud n8 guYs and gAyls
657 Likes
Boy1: nice dp
Boy2: kaash ye raat apki jindagi mein khushiyan le
aye
Boy3: Kya baat boli yaar, i loves u
Boy3: Raat hai suni suni, unka aya sandesh....
China Nepal Bangladesh.
Boy4: have a bery bery nice dreams
...
Boys Status: Good Night Guys
0 Likes
Boy1: So ja salle chaukidaar :-P

"iPhone 5s. How much?"
"50k"
"Cool. Here."
"Bhaiya iPhone ka cover kaise diya?"
"400"
"400??? Bahaut mehnga hai. 200 mai dena hai to bolo"

*Birthday Wishes*
Girls: Happppyyy Birthdayyy Darling Moouuaaaah Hugs
Kisses mah baby :-* :-* :-* :-*
Boys: BC, Birthday hai? Chal daru pila..!! 3:)

Gusse ka aana "mard" hone ki
nishani hai,
magar....
gusse ko pee jana
"married" hone ki
nishani hai!!

Darpok hai wo log jo ishq nahi karte
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Saala barbad hone ke liye bhi kaleja chayiye ;-)

Seasonal Love story :-
Wo ladka aaj b garmi me mar raha hai,
Jisko ek ladki ne kabhi kaha tha...
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Tum iss sweater me Ranbir kapoor lagte ho...!

Mummy kehti hai jab tu ghar par hota hai tab
phone chhodta nahi.
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Or jab bahar hota hai to phone uthata kyu nahi :-P :-P

Alcohol is the worst thing in the world ..
A friend drank a lot last night & ended up saying
"I love you"
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to his Own Wife...can you imagine that.

Before Marriage - "U Are Adorable." B|
After Marriage - "U Are A Door Bell." 3:)

विदेशी देशों ने पहले सड़के बनायीं और फिर
लोगो को गाड़िया दी चलाने के लिए, लेकिन
हमने पहले गाड़ियां दी और अब सड़के बना रहे
है। :-P

She: Hey, nice DP :-)
He: hmm..
She: kya hua mood off hai?
He: nahin bas soch raha tha ki tumne kis kaam ke liye yaad kiya hoga..

FIFA‬ World Cup
For Indians is like
'Begaani Shaadi Mein
Abdullah Deewana' !

लडका अपनी गर्लफ्रेन्ड से...
"मेरे पास मेरे दोस्त जैसी कार नही पर तुम्हे पल्को पे बीठा के घुमाउंगा,
उसके जैसा बडा घर नही पर तुम्हे दीलमें रखुंगा,
उसके जीतने पैसे नही पर मजदुरी करके खीलाउंगा
और क्या चाहिए तुम्हे ???"
लडकी : बस कर पगले, रुलायेगा क्या ???
चल अपने दोस्त का नंबर दे....!!!" :-P :-D

Wife(in a romantic mood):
Janu Ek Puppy do na!
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Pappu:" Uff, Fashion Dekho...
Ghar me khane ko Paise nhi hain aur is ko Kutte ka pilla chahiye...! :-D

Girl: Bhaiyya 10 rs. wali Maggi dena.
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Shopkeeper: Ye lo.
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Girl: Kitne hue?
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Joke upar hi khatam hogaya yaaron.

Sirf Choti si Galti ki wajah se 1 Bookshop Me 1 Milion Books Sale Hui,
Book ka Nam Tha
"AN IDEA THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR WIFE"
Bas "L" Ki Jgah "W" Print Ho Gya Tha. ;-)

Friend: Bhai aisa kuch bata jisse saanp bhi marr
jaaye aur laathi bhi na toote.
Me: Goli maar de ;-) :-P

EK STUDENT KI KAHANI:
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Kal raat book meri taraf dekhti rhi,
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aur nind mujhe apni taraf khichti rhi
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Nind ka jhoka mera man moh gaya
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or kal raat fir ek honhar studnt
bina padhe so gaya..
:-D

Doctor: Tumhare Kaan Kaise Jale?
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Santa: Main Kameez Istari Kar Raha
Tha, Ke Phone
Aa Gaya.
Maine Jaldi mein Phone Ki Jagah
Istari Kaan Mai Laga Li
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Doctor: To Doosra Kaan Kaise Jala?
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Santa: Ab Ambulance Ko Bhi Phone
Karna Tha Na. lol :-P

मत देख ऐ हसीना मुझको यु हँसते हँसते
मेरे दोस्त बड़े नालायक है, कह देंगे भाभी नमस्ते

I am always First at....
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College's Black List
and
Girl's Block List . . . . ! ! !

Father: Beti Aaj tumne Phone par sirf
ek ghanta
baat ki,
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Tum ne to kabi 4 Ghante se kam Baat
hi nahi ki,
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Beti: Papa ye wrong number tha :-D

Anju: I hate Delhi summers.. :-(
Manju: Me too.. ;-(
Chat;
Manju: Kya hua Didi? :o Anju: Garmi mein saara make up utar gaya toh husband ne pehchana nahi..!! :-P

Question: Ek Ghanta Padhne se aur Ek Ghanta Nahi Padhne se Kya Farak padta hai ???
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Answer: GHANTA Farak Padta hai!!! :-D

15 yrs ago Me: paise do na dance class join karunga
Baap: chal be padhaai kar
Now
Him: Wo dance show pe tere jitne bachche kya naachte hai:-(

Wife : Tum Saari Dunya Mein Bhi Dhoondo To Bhi Mujh Jaisi Doosri Nahi Milegi..
Husband: Tum Kya SamjhTi Ho.. Mein Doosri Bhi Tum Jaisi Hi Dhoondoon Ga..! ;-)
Hadd Ho Gayi.. :-P

WIFE: Suno ji; agar tumhaare baal isi raftaar se jhadte rahe toh main tumhein talaaq de doongi!!
Pati: He uper wale, aur main paagal inko bachaane ki koshish kar rahaa thaa :-D

Wife - Tum to kehte the ki Shaadi ke baad bhi mujhse bahut Pyaar karoge....
Husband - Mujhe kya pata tha ki tumhari Shaadi mujhse hi ho jayegi ........!!! :-D

Nothing is impossible, if a man tries (y)
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And if a woman cries ;-(

Naya Sipahi(Inspector se), "Sir! Ye bilkul galat hai ki main us chor se dar gaya tha."
Inspector, "To tum us gadi ke peeche kyon chipe the?"
Naya Sipahi, "Ji wah to main kutta dekhkar chipa tha."

good joke

Ek chota baccha dusre bacche se, 
"Agar din ko sury na nikal to kya hoga?"
Doosre bacche ne jawab diya, 
"Bijli ka bill bad jayega."

Manager ne aane wale se poocha, 
"Kya tumhen pata nahin ki bina aagya andar aana mana hai."
Aanewala, "Janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon."

Mehman(Baby se)-Bhai, 
aaj to chay peene ka bahot maza aaya.
Baby-Uncle ji, agar billee ne doodh munh na mara hota to aur bhi maza aata."

Ek bar teen aadmi khade the.
Pahla-Main karodpati hun.
Doosra:Main lakhpati hoon.
Teesra:Main apni patni ka pati hun.

Doctor(Kavi se):Main sampadak nahin doctor hoon. 
Aap apni kavita nahin bimari sunaiye.
Kavi:Mujhe kavita sunane ki hi bimari hai.

Beggar: Sir,
Family Se Dur Ho Gaya Hun
Milne Ke Liye 500 Rs Ki Zarurat Hai.
SETH: Kahan Hai Teri Family?
Beggar-Samne DHA Me Film Dekh Rahi Hai

Man outside phone booth :
Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
&
haven't spoken a word..
Man inside - Sir
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I'm talking to my wife :D =D =))
Topic over.

Na Jaane Ye Jhuti Duniya Kaha Jaa
Rhi h,
wA wA
Na Jaane Ye Jhuti Duniya Kaha Jaa
Rhi h,
INSAN Khud "PAAD" K Kehta h
Ye "BADBU" Kaha Se Aa Rahi hai

Up Coming Facebook Movies
1.Jab We Chat
2.Namastey Facebook
3.Hum Aapke Hai Mutual Friend
4.7 Gaali Maaf
5.Hum Like Kar Chuke Sanam
6.Kabhi Relationship Kabhi Single
7.Meine Poke Q Kiya
8.Mere Brother Ki Profile..
Dekna Math Bhulna.

Teacher:Batao k quick, quicker quickest forms ko hindi main kese kahen ge?
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Student : Bhaag, Abay Bhaaag,Bhaag teri maaaa ki.

Jis raste pe chalo
nazre juka k chalo
is se
Na sirf izzat barti he
balke
Niche giri hui chizo me se koi
kaam ki cheez b haath lag sakti He

Gabbar: is thakur ke kan kat do
thakur: nahi me andha ho jaunga.
gabbar: kan katne se koi andha hota he kya?
thakur: chasma kya tere bap k kan pe lagaunga

True Love:
Baba :- Beta tujh pr chudail ka saya hai...
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Ladka :-Baba me thappad mar dunga
Agar
Meri Girlfriend k bare me kuch kaha to....

Girl friend is a "PANIPURI" very tasty..
Lover is a "PIZZA"
very hot and spicy..
But
Wife is a "KHICHADI"
good 4 health but no taste...

Jethalal : are daya raat ko mobile charging me mat rakho,blast ho jayaga
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Daya:Tappu ke papa aap tension mat lijiye mene battery nikal di he.

Boy to girl in Dance Party : kya tum mere saath dance karogi ?
Girl : me bachho ke saath dance nahi karti !
Boy : sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki Aap Pregnant Women Ho !!!!

1 Ladke ne ek ladki ko call ki
Boy: I LOVE U Jaan.
Girl: Sacchi
Boy: Mucchi
Girl: Ek 100 ka recharge karwa do plz
Boy: Sorry Didi Rong No.

Ek admi sadhu se bola,
Meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaya batayien na shadu ji…
Aur phir shadu ghusse me bole ,
Abe saale upaya hota to main sadhu kyu banta..

traffic police wala (chalan( book nikal k bola: naam bol? ladka:"trikulavatty thekkeparambli swami" police wala( chalan book band krke): agli baar gadi dheere chalana....

Customer: Mujhe phone per
dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko
dhamkiya de raha hai?
Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke,
Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.

Machchar ne apni wife ko divorce de diya
Pata hai kyu
..
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..
..
Bolta Hai..
uske bachhe ki Ragon me kisi aur ka khoon tha!

SWEET DEMAND-
ßacchi Papa Se Gussa Hokar Ghar K ßahar ßaithi Thi
Maa-Kya Hua?
ßacchi-Aapke Husßand K Saath Meri ßanti Nahi
Mujhe Mera Husßand Chahiye..;)

jab khidki che dhekha to sadak pe koi nahi tha wha wha jab khidki che dekha to sadak pe koi nahi tha fir sadak pe aake dekha to khidki pe koi nahi tha wha wha

Teacher : Hame in machron kopaida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher : Kyon?
Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.

Dil Se Dil Milte He To Pyar Hota He.
Dil Se Dil Milte He To Pyar Hota He.
Jab Hum Unke Papa Se Mile To.
Jute, Chapal, Lat, Guse Free Discount Me Milte He.

Aaaj to Maa ne V saaf bol diya....
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Beta WIFE aisi lana...
Jo facebook na use karti hon,
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Ghar mein aur kuch kaam bhi hote hain.......

Bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai...
Books hai
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Notes hai
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Time hai
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Mauka hai
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or hausla to itna hai ki jab chahu padh sakta hun....
Bus 1 hi baat ki kami hai..

MOOD

Kissing A Girl On Her Forehead Is Respect,,
Kissing A Girl On Her Cheek Is Care,,
Kissing A Girl On Her Eyes Is Care & Love,,
Kissing A Girl On Her Lips Is Love,,
But Kissing A Girl In Front Of Her Boyfriend.....
Hud Hud Dabangg Dabangg Dabangg

BOY: A, B, C
GIRL: What?
BOY: Always Be Careful
GIRL: Ahan then?
BOY: D, E, F, G
Girl : ??
BOY: Don't Ever ForGet That
GIRL: Hmmm...
BOY: I'm H I
Girl: What H I ?
BOY: Happily In love
GIRL: So ??
BOY: J, K, L, M, - Just Keep
Loving
Me
GIRL: And how about N, O,
P, Q, R,
S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z ?
BOY: No Other Person
Quite,
Reasonable , Shall Treat U
Very
Well Xcept me You'll Zee

Mai To Aaj Apni Bike Aise Hi Wash
Kar Raha Tha.
Ki
Daddy Bole== Kamine Aaj Phir
Date Pe Ja Raha Hai Tu.......
Batao Yaro Ab Koi Bike Bhi Nahi
Dho Sakta Kya.....

Ultimate serious........ - ...
ek dam
jaanleva

ladka- Call receive kyo
nahi kia ?
ladki - wo main .
wo main .
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wo main
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........ ring tone par naach
rahi thi......

Lalu ke piche kutta ka bach laga...
Lalu bhagte bhagte bola
"HUM THO BSNL KA CARD DALWAYA HU"
Sasura e vadafone ka network kaise paked raha hai...
SRI BHARGAV

Koi "ROKAR" Juda Hota Hai,
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Koi "HASKAR" Juda Hota Hai,
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Par,
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Juda Hone ka "GUM" tab Hota Hai.
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Jab,
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Koi kisi ka "HOKAR" Juda Hota Hai....:a:d:

Aarjh kiya he.

Kamjor ho giya teri judai me.

Kamjor ho giya teri judai me.

Ki ab to chiti bhi kich le jati he Charpaiye . . . . B-)

Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.

Saala paani mein hi kuchgadbad hai.

Boy:My father shaves 40 times a day.
Friend: Is he crazy.
Boy:No,he is a barber.

ivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi..

Jindegi milti hai 1 bar ,
maut ati hai 1 bar ,
pyar hota hai 1 bar ,
dil tut ta hai 1 bar ,
jab sab hota hai 1 bar ,
to fir . . . . . .
Su-su Q ati hai bar bar . . . . .

Chhup gaye saare najaare,
oye kya baat ho gayi,

Dosto, abhi pata kar ke aata hoo kya baat ho gayi!

Accident dekhne par expressions:-

AMERICAN~>oh my God
PAKISTANI~>ya allah
CHINESE~>haiyaa
AFRICAN~>o lala
AUSTRIA~>got a hit

ODISHA>>>>SALA MARI GALA KIRE.............

Teacher:Kartik,why does your
notebook look so old?
kartik:because it is my history notebbok mam.

Father:Did you misbehave at school ?
Son:No,dad i was quietly stand on
the bench,the whole day.

Neetu:What will you give me if i eat 170 gms
of sugar?
Ashu:Auto fare to go to hospital.

Teacher: Indu,tell me how many
hours do you sleeping every
day?
Indu: how do i know,ma'am?I don't look at the clock. 

Smile is a source to win a heart..
Smile is a name of lovely mood..
Smile creates greatness in personality....
So,never forget to BRUSH daily........:-D

Wife- raat ko chor aaya tha ghar me, or mujhe kiss krke chala gya.
Pati- tumne roka nahi
Wife- bahut kaha tha rukne k liye, par bola fir aunga

Father- btao kya baat h kyo ro rahe ho,,,,ghabrao na...mujhe apna dost samjho.
.
Son- kya batau yaar mere wali se milne gya tha tere wali ne dekh liya... bahut mara

Boy:" Main tumse bahat pyar krta hu
.
Reh nhi skta tumhare bina
.
.
Girl:" Mere piche apni zindagi
barbad mat kar
.
.
Boy:" Q ??
.
.
Girl:" Iss raste pe patthr or kanto k
alwa kuch nhi
.
.
Boy:" Are pagli... tu tension na le Mere paas WOODLAND k shoes hai bas tu patja.

What is d difference between
PROBLEM,TALENT &
KISMAT?
.
.
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6 boys love 1 girl = PROBLEM
.
.
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.
1 boy loves 6 girls = TALENT
.
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.
&
6 girls loves 1 boy = KISMAT..

Ek ladka aur ek ladki ek dusre
se bahut pyaar karte the..
.
.
.
. Ladki ke baap ko pata lag
gaya...
.
.
.
Usne gusse se bijli se chalne wali aari ko ladki ke gardan
(neck) pe rakh diya..
.
Woh aari ladki ko katne hi wali
thi, achanak light chali
gayi... .
.
Pass mai khadha woh ladka
chillaya..Bhara -t sarkar
Zindabad..
. .
Moral:"Agar sacha hai aapka
pyaar to saath hai Bharat
Sarkar...

Santa- Mujhe Shadi Me BMW Mili H.
Banta- Pr Tumhare Paas To Koi Car Nhi H!
Santa- Abe Ghade, BMW Matlab 'Bahut Moti Wife'..

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ..
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isme 1 missing h
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dobara padh rahe ho??
.
kbi abcd me 1 aata h.. :p :D

good joke

MUNNA BHAI: ABEY CIRCUT YE BARISH K WAKT BIJLI KYUN CHAMAKTI HAI?

CIRCUT: bahi bolay to upper wala torch maar kar dekhta hoga kahin sookha to nahi reh gaya.

Girl Friend:- Dear,
This Computer Is Not Working As Per My Command!!!
Boy Friend:- Exactly Darling,
Its A Computer Not Ur Boy Friend...

jab kabhi bhi KANJUSI ka award diya jayega,
aapka naam sabse pehle liya jayega,
galti se bhi koi sms na kar dena nhi to ye AWARD haath se nikal jayega

Banta falls in luv wit a nurse..
After much thinking, he finally
writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"

'(-_-)' "(=_=)"
<) (> <( )>
_/ /_ _/ /_
Lover K Saath Ghumte Hue Aap Ka Photo Mila Hai.
Sms Bhejte Rehna,
Wrna Photo Ghar Bhej Deange.

Kitne Log He Teri Mehfil Me.
Fir Bhi Mujhe Tu Akeli Dikhay Deti He.
Ye Mat Sochna Me Sapne Tere Dekhta Hu.
Sapno Me To Teri Saheli Dikhayi Deti He.

2 Larkeyan Dareya Par Nangi Naha Rahi Theen
Un Men Se Ek Boli Ap Ki Choot Par
Tu Bal Hen Meri Par Tu Naheen
Dusri Ne Jawab Diya Kya Ap Ne Kabhi
Chalti Sadak Par Ghas Dekhi Hae

Girl- (In A Party) Excuse Me..
Mere Hath Men Plate Hy,
To Kya Aap Mere Face Par Se
Ek Cheez Hata Sakte Ho..?
.
.
.
.
.
Boy- (Khush Hote Hoye) Han Bolo Kya Hatana He..?
.
Girl- Apni Kutte Jaisi Nazren..

1st Pathan:
Yaar Agr Maa K Qadm0n Talay Jannat H0ti Hy
T0 Nani K Qadmo Talay Kia H0ta Hy?
2nd Pathan:
" Jannat 2

Larka Aur Larki Vist Pay Gaye..
Wahan Larkay Ko Ch0t Lag Gaei..
Aur Khoon Behne Laga
Wo Larki Ki Taraf Dekhne Laga K
Abhi Wo Apna Dupatta Phaar Kar Bandhe Gi..
Larki, Larkay Ki Nazron Ka
Mafhoom Samajhte Huwe B0li:;
...
..
.
.
.
..
Sochi Vi Naa...
3200 Da Suit Ee Mera..

no 1 joke

"In A Train, Ticket Checker To A Saint:
Ticket Please! Saint: I Don't Have.
Tt: Where Do You Want To Go?
Saint: Lord Ram's Birth Place, Ayodhya!
Tt: Come, Lets Go! Saint: Where?
Tt: Lord Krishna'a Birth Place, Jail. "

Chintu ne bled se grlfrnd ka naam apne haathpar likha
Aur
5min baad jor jor se rone laga,
Uska dost: Q ro rahe ho?
Chintu:Abey,pur­ani wali ka likh dia.

Talented Question:-Agar Tumhari Shadi Judwa Behan Me Se Kisi 1 ke Sath Ho Jaye To Tum Apni Bv Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?
Best Answer-Mai Q Pehchanu?

3 words that can totally
change ur
mood:
I LOVE YOU
I HATE YOU
&
The best 1..
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.
.
.
.
FACEBOOK LOGIN ERROR
Seriously Aag lag jaati hai

Dear Girls
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Talking Always In English
D0es n0t Make U Hollyw00d Her0in

अर्थशास्त्र की क्लास में छात्र– “सर हमें अर्थशास्त्र क्यों पढ़ना चाहिए ?”
अध्यापक – “यह हमें लोगों की जिंदगियाँ बचाने में सहायता करता है.”
छात्र ने हैरानी से पूछा – “वो कैसे सर ?”
अध्यापक – “क्योंकि अर्थशास्त्र तुम जैसे बेवकूफों को मेडिकल कॉलेज में प्रवेश से दूर रखता है !!!”

Circuit- Bhai, Aamerican Rastrapati Kaha Rehta He?
Munaa- DHOBIGHAT Pe
Circuit- Dhobighat Bole To?
Munaa- English Me Bole To
“WOSHING TOWN”

Cow: Kya me Bolu
Ox: Sun
Cow: Suna
Ox: Chalti Kya Ghaushala
Cow: Kya Kru?ake me Ghaushala
Ox: Mundi Hilaeanga,
Ghas Chabaenge,
Ghobar Flaynge Or Kya?

Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?
Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu
Munna: Kyun!
Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.

97% aap intelligent ho
82% Aap sweet ho
74% aap cute ho
21% aap badmash ho
18% aap pagal ho...
Ise chohdo ihin no. Ko mila kr muje call kro.

ओबामा : तुम्हारा हिंदुस्तान देश बहुत गरीब देश हैं.
.
नरेन्द्र मोदी : बेटा ओबामा,
तुम्हारा अमेरिका जितना तेल खाताहैं
ना उतना तेल तो हम शनिवार को शनि भगवान् पे चढ़ा देते हैं.

Ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna..!!
.
.
.
.
.
Jodi jarur aasman mein bnti hai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Par setting zameen par hi karni
padti hai..

Dhup me
chamakti profile hai
sabse alag tumhara style hai
kya ada hai kya smile hai
Naak poch ne ki akal nahi aur hath me mobile hai.

Govt. passed a new rule:-
Beutiful girls & Handsme boys Have to pay personality tax!!!
Don't smile I know u r safe but Meri to vaat lag gayi na

Arz kiya hai...
Mere kamare me udate hai Badal...
Wah.. Wah..
Mare kamare me udate hai Badal...
Me Bhejta Hu sMs Aur Padhate HaiPagal.

Agar manzil ko pana hai to honslasath rakhna
Agar pyaar ko pana hai to etbaar sath rakhna
Agar hamesha muskurana hai to daant saaf rakhna.

Santa: Doctor, everybody thinks I am mad.
Doctor: But why?
Santa: Because I like omelettes.
Doctor: There's nothing wrong with that. Even I like omelettes.
Santa: Really? Come I'll show you my collection!

Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye
Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??
Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

Arz kiya hai...
Udhar aap majbur baithe hain.. ..
Idhar hum khamosh baithe hain.
Baat ho to kaise ho..
Jab dono taraf do kanjush baithe hain.
PA1

Murga: Hum mar gye the kya
Murgi: Me to tumse hi shadi krna chahti thi
par Mom - dad chahte the ladka Air-Force me ho...A..!!

Boy: BUS aur LARKI
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.
Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain....

Har sawal say dut ker larna,
Phainkhnay me kami mat karna,
Moqa milay to pichay bhi dekhna,
aur 1 bat yaad rakhna,
aagay walay ka paper apna samajhna.

3 sardar after exam
1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha
main paper khali chor aya hon.
2nd: Main bhi!
3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhe
gi hum ne cheating ki hay:p

Na waqt itna k sallybus pura kia jaye
Na tarkeeb koi k exam pass kia jaye
Na jane kon sa dard dia hy is parhai ne
Na roya jaye aur na soya jaye

Hum jeete EK bar hai,
Marte EK bar hai,
Pyar EK bar hota hai,
Aur shaadi bhi EK hi bar hoti hai..
TO ye EXAMS BAR-BAR KYUN ???Hum jeete EK bar hai,
Marte EK bar hai,
Pyar EK bar hota hai,
Aur shaadi bhi EK hi bar hoti hai..
TO ye EXAMS BAR-BAR KYUN ???

Beggar:Give me food.
Man: I'll give U Vodka.
Beggar: I don't drink, Give me food.
Man: I'll give U cigarettes.
Beggar: I don't smoke.
Man: I'll take U to race.
Beggar: I don't gamble.
Man: I'll get U girl friend.
Beggar: I love only my wife.
Man: I'll give U food, but first U have to come to my house.
Begger: why?
Man: I want my wife to see what state people get into when they don't Drink, Smoke, Gamble & Loveonly their own WIFE.
PA1

Ek Budha Ek ladki se Takraya...
.
Budha:"Sorry...
.
Ladki:"Andha hai
kya...Dikhta nahi..
Ladki Jaise hi Aage badhi,
Ek handsome ladka us ladki se
takra gaya...
.
Ladka:"Sorry...
.
.
Ladki:"It's okay.
Budha ladki se bolta hai "MERI
SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI KYA..??
Pa1

no 1 joke

Boy-I love you,
Girl-tameez se baat karo,
Boy-Om mangalam bhagwan vishnu with due respect i beg to say that "I LOVE YOU"
DEVI JI offer grahan kare.